commotiocordis

Random fantastic post of whining that was originally a tweet but I kept typing and hahahaha.

Laptop managed to get trojans that deleted its ability to network and I may have screwed it up more trying to fix it before I knew it was malware-caused (because stupid AVG said everything was fine like a moron) and there are somehow no system restore points on the laptop so no easy fix. It theoretically works totally fine minus the inability to network, but I HAVE SPENT THE LAST WEEK fucking with all the computers to set the server back up so this is Not Okay.

And I need to print off my resume so I can finally turn in this application but I can't print it from the laptop because aforementioned deleted ability to network and I haven't installed Word on the desktop computer yet. (Doing right now, but it takes a long time.)

And I need to go to the gym because that makes things better when things = wanting to put my fist through computers and the universe, but my stomach hurts and I'm too fat to leave the house and I don't want to go to the gym without this goddamned job application again I've been holding on to it for like a week.

And apparently my mom wants me to come home but I don't want to leave without turning this job application in because Important which is why I leave for home yesterday like I should have. Theoretically job more important but let's not kid ourselves I won't get called back for it I was ridiculously qualified for the last two jobs I applied for and got excited about and n o p e not even an email to say they'd filled the position nothing.

So by not turning in this goddamned application like last week and going home days ago when I could have I'm probably fucking up whatever plans she has but that's okay because I would hate them anyway because I am horrible and rotten and ungrateful.

Updates. Because it's been forever. Short and significantly less detailed than I have words to say, but that's the only way it'll get done at all because I keep putting off updating this baby because it feels so daunting because there's so much to say, and then it never happens. You know, procrastination FTW.

Microbiology thing (recap: professor was a douche, I got the highest grade of those that took test version #2 for the third exam and it was a 44% and he said tough shit when I suggested that he curve it at least even up to the test #1 average).
Debated whether to drop it or not. If I got a C (I was sitting at a 79.6% coming into the last lab test and the lecture final), it'd kill my average and look like shit on all med school apps, but as long as I kept As in everything else (like I was on track to do), my scholarship would be okay. Within 1% of not okay, but safe. Mom said that it wasn't worth the gamble to stay in in case something happened with one of the other classes or some such catastrophy that would cost me some $37,000 over the remaining years. But if I dropped, I'd have to find some way to stay and take summer classes because that was my big 5 hour course and therefore would put me below the renewal credit hour requirements, and I'd have to find a place to stay and pay for both that and the credits themselves because my scholarship doesn't work during the summer (which is dumb, and I hear they're talking about changing it now). Plus, I looked at the last units for both lab and lecture and it turned out that it was a lot medical, and I'd never gotten worse than a B on any of the legitimate tests, so I decided to go for it because medicine's my thing, and I pulled those high enough to get the B in the class. Still not what I want people to see for such an integral class on my med apps, but better than a C and I don't have to put my entire next semester's schedule on hold to retake it like I would if I dropped.

Chemistry thing.
This one is new and very scary because it was last minute. I blanked on a formula for the last test, which brought my average to some 0.17% below the "you don't have to take the final" cutoff. And I was stressing about the micro finals, so didn't really do a whole lot of studying for this one, especially because he was giving us a formula sheet. bleakone and I did anyway, but we were missing one of the tests to study from. Yeah, guess which chapter's formula section on the final was blank? Natch, the one we didn't study. So that one test managed to bring me down to an 89.6 or .7%, which I thought was an A. But I wasn't sure, so I went to check. He seemed to be indicating that no, that was a B. Which would fuck me over in terms of scholarship, and after I went to all that work with the micro to keep it. But it turned out (and I had worked out and brought all this math up there with me just in case, because I was moving back home the next day and didn't have time to screw around) that there was an extra credit thing that, to make a long story short, he had screwed up and I had pointed out to him back before when I thought that I was getting out of the final but he never changed because it turned out that it brought me up to the 0.17% below but he was going to be a dick and not roun3d up that little bit so it didn't matter. So I moved from having a high enough grade to almost get out of the final to walking away with a 90% even. Holy shit, was that close.

Computer thing.
Meanwhile, my computer died one night in the middle of finals. The screen just went grey. The computer was on, and the screen would dim like normal when it was on battery and get brighter when plugged in like it was supposed to, and if I'd had a spare monitor (as I'm doing now), I could have hooked it up fine, but nope. So that sucked. Know what else. Pretty sure that was THE FUCKING DAY AFTER my warranty expired. I haven't looked it up because it'll just make me sad. I haven't done anything with it yet mostly because it still sort of works now and I don't know if I can bear leaving it for however long. Which is bad. This week, I swear. I'm going to take it to the warranty place and if they tell me they can't do anything, I'll make Dad order the new LCD and we'll get to work putting it in.

In other news. I painted my fingernails two days in a row this week. Well, Kaci did it yesterday in a dark, denimy blue, and then I had been messing with my cuticles and ended up exposing a whole bunch of unpainted nail as well as chipping off some of it, so I put this awesome shimmery money-green on top. This is a once-every-two-or-so-years thing, so it's notable. I also have watched a lot of 30 Rock and SVU on the Roku/Netflix box since moving back home, as well as "Marley and Me" (at which Kaci cried, which means I almost cried because I'm reactive like that) and "Yes Man" tonight, played a lot of Sims, reread some 1600 pages of a Birds of Prey fic series, and did a couple of crossword puzzles. I'm casually looking for a job, but again, not so casually starting now. It's hard, as the computer I was using didn't have internet, and then the one that did doesn't have my CV on it because that's on the harddrive that crashed a few days ago (this one's def under warranty, though, as it's barely a few months old, so I've just got to get around to sending it off). And my thing at the gifted kids camp isn't going to work out because their enrollment is way down due to the economy and they've got a bunch of actual teachers that need to do their gifted practicums and so are taking my job (prolly because they don't have to pay them), and nobody else wants somebody just for the summer because there aren't that many jobs to begin with so it's not worth training somebody that's going to leave in 3 months. I could probably flip burgers or something, but I really need to do something I can put on my resume because this shit is important--hell, Harvard has "what you did with your summers" as a specific category on its list of things it looks at for med school. Not that I haven't blown my Harvard chances all to hell by getting a B in micro going to a podunk state school because it was free instead of the decent places my kickass test scores and all around geniosity (j/k) meant I should have gone if we weren't, you know, living off of teachers' salaries. But still. I'd like to go to Wash U at least, which is not exactly in the bottom 10, if you know what I mean.

A man who recently divorced his wife of more than 20 years shot and killed her before killing himself in a mall fairly near where I was working at the time. All the news reports tell us that the motive has not been determined.

Let's take a look at the first part of that sentence again. Divorced after 20 years of marriage. Safe to say that they were having some relationship issues, no? Motive.

More random miniupdate stuff. New job is pretty cool (though OMG the heat! I've got to work outside recess every day after lunch, plus some days we go outside for activities for the class, plus I got volunteered to do the after-care program, where we get bitched at if we don't take them outside no matter how hellaciously hot it is--I'm spending more time outside in one day than I do for entire months usually!) in that though most of the kids are annoying as hell, you get the choice few that are really excellent. Yesterday, I spent more than an hour having a conversation with one of them about Judaism. A five year old. Seriously. Turns out he's the son of a rabbi from one of the cool liberal temples around town. And he was totally able to hold up his end of a fairly high-level conversation (read: interrogation) about temple and shul and keeping kosher and such. Of course, and then you have the one that came up to Mike (one of the other after-care people) and demanded that he show him his armpit hair, and others of that ilk. But still. There's a huge difference overall from the nose-wiping of the gym kids and the gifted kids I'm now working with. Not to say that there aren't the same number of behavioral issues (it feels like more, in fact, because I'm with them for longer and it's a consistent group that I can count on coming every day and pulling the same crap, while at the gym it was more varied), but it's a different feel because the gifted kids have different behavioral quirks.

I also like the teacher I'm working with. She treats me almost like a co-teacher more than a TA, which is really cool. I do a little bit more of the scut work (paper passing out, copying, etc.) in exchange for not having to do lesson plans which is a fine trade off for me. Though today was a bit of an exception, as she just gave me the reins on the entire orienteering activity, the beginning of which was kinda plan-y--I had to plot out a couple of courses for them (outside, fail) while she was doing another activity, and then she figured that I might as well then teach them all how to navigate it when we got to it, so I did that and then led half the kids through the two courses to make sure they got all the markers and didn't. . . run into the street or sommat. Plotting the course and taking the complete lead on the teaching were the only things that weren't really typical of what she has me do, though, as usually she's got that stuff done ahead of time/naturally does the majority of the teaching. So maybe that's pretty typical TA stuff, but I think I really feel it in her attitude towards me; there's no condescension or anything that you might expect of somebody shunting scut work off on you. Plus, her partner brought in their twins today during our break, and they're pretty darn adorable.

Things that I don't like.
- Boss keeping giving me hints about how to work with the kids. Umm, seriously. Do you think I've never been around kids before? Do you think I've never been into a classroom? I did, you know, go through school, so I've got a bit of experience knowing the tricks that teachers can use to keep kids interested/in line. Plus, my parents, just a bit of knowledge coming from being around them.
- The heat, obviously. And having to be outside.
- Not anticipating liking having to walk around the city (the class is about the history of St. Louis) on our field trip all day on my birthday.
- And this is the killer. The fact that the commute is even worse because of the hours I'm driving. It should be about a 26 minute drive, so says Googlemaps. It's only slightly more than that usually in the morning (I leave around 8), which is good. But in the evening? For example. I left at 5:20pm today. Got home at 6:15. WTF. It feels like I'm spending my entire day working when I'm only getting paid for 8 hours, simply because I'm getting so little time at home.

Finally got myself back to the gym today after two weeks of vacation, and then getting home and having injured my calves the day before whilst hiking in the mountains of Vermont, knocking me out for Sunday and Monday, and then oversleeping during a nap and waking up too late on Tuesday (though it was the residual fatigue rather than the time that really prevented me--I could have gone, though it would have been killerlate, but I just didn't have the energy). Aforementioned energy is back, though. I really feel the difference that the workout gives me. Though not perhaps a good thing when it's almost 1 am now and said energy is still more or less here.

Work: Been working double shifts (8-12 and 4:30-8:30) for the past two weeks, which is brutal on my gas money because of the double commute. It's a horrible break in between--too long to stay there (though if it had been more than a temporary thing, as I'm still leaving for NY on Tuesday, I would have started just driving down the street to the downtown library and chilling out there for at least a few of the days) but not enough time to do anything once you're home, especially if I work out after the morning shift. As much as I hate a good number of the kids, I'm going to miss it, because the three of us that are there first thing in the morning are pretty cool. Might see Sara (one of said three) on Sunday when I go to Pride, though, because I had known she bartended on the side, but I found out a few days ago that she does so at the local gay bar, LOL, and she's promised to stop by and say hello. More about that below.

So I gave notice on Monday, last day is next Monday, and interviewed this afternoon and got a position as a TA for a summer gifted camp for when I get back from up north. Twas easy to get, as it was already pretty much in the bag--it's the organization that my parents teach classes for, so we've known everybody forever; the position was actually offered to me rather than solicited, which is cool. It's about St. Louis in the World's Fair era--history type stuff to first and second graders (mostly boys)--which I'm not particularly excited about (mostly not excited about the class make-up), though I'll be interested to learn. The bit that's going to make it awesome? The teacher that I'm going to be working with is a lesbian who was supposed to be working it with her partner (as the second lead teacher for that type of class that they ended up not needing due to not-as-good-as-hoped enrollment), and just had twin babies. Idk, typecasting is bad, but by sheer nature of orientation, she seems to be a forward-thinking type, which is good. This job pays significantly better, also, though the commute is just as long.

New York: Going. Leaving on Tuesday, reuinion's on Saturday, going up to aunt's house in Vermont for a bit after that, though we've got to be home by the 14th for the above camp's starting, which mom isn't too happy about, as she'd love to spend the rest of the summer up there. No idea about plans within that, though I really want to hit up NYC, as I've never been, and DC if possible because politics!squee.

Pridefest: Also going, though probably only on Sunday since I've got a shift at the gym on Saturday. Applied and was accepted to work with a multi-college research group to administer surveys about tobacco use and general health care services regarding the LGBT community. Which was supposed to pay $100 for 4 hours, is ending up being $100 for 5.5 hours, but still is way worth it. Even though it's outside in St. Louis at the end of June. Everybody's all freaked out about God-des and She playing there, but I doubt I'm going to hang around long enough to see them--after ages of sun-filled survey taking, there's only so much hanging around Pride one can do. I am taking donations, however, for the "Buy Alexandria a new wardrobe from Pride to wear up to the reunion/anniversary of the conservative, gay-hating grandparents" fund. If I can scrape the cash (idk when I'm going to get paid from the gym still).

Allergies today and migraine yesterday have made the last few days not so much fun as not. Especially because it was one of those freakish migraines (that I prefer to the "normal" kind I used to get more often, but still) where I have no or very little headache, and just the major nausea/dizziness/sensitivity to everything/etc. Good in that there's a diminished level of head-splitting ouchage, bad in that since they're weird and, though more common lately, not the kind I got first, it always takes a significant amount of time before I recognize it as a migraine and take the appropriate actions/medicine. Also bad in that they don't give me the aura warning thing like the ones with the actual head pain. I was at a friend's graduation party when it hit, and it came on so debilitatingly so quickly that I had to get out of there with the excuse of having to be at work the next day at 6am (the girl I work with did; I was only there at 8) because I had mentioned working early before and the more words I had to use to explain things would mean the longer my mouth was open, which is not so much the best idea when fighting not to puke. Driving home then was a bitch also, because you're torn between pulling over so you can wait out this major wave of nausea or because you have to throw up and not pulling over so you can get home faster. I compromised by holding one of those gigantic soda fountain cups in my lap just in case I couldn't make it all the way home first. Two Compazines (that I still have from the major, all night LJ posting session that was the first one of these that I had that really puzzled me--I think they work, so I'm not complaining, though I usually figure it out fairly soon after I take it and chase it down with one of my mum's migraine pills, so it's hard to isolate which one does the working), a MaxAlt (generic migraine stuff), a nap, and a smack to my sister who decided to illustrate some concept she didn't like whilst explaining it to me with pantomimed emesis, and I was almost better by morning. Better enough to go to work, which is what matters, I suppose.

Work was fun. In that I and the other babysitter type (who weren't supposed to be doing desk/other stuff work anyway, or at least weren't explained to that this would be the case when we signed up) were the only people there in the morning, and we were never taught how to do the membership sales stuff (or how to do the other, drink/towel/whatever sales stuff or ring people in, for that matter, but I had figured that out earlier in the week when I was watching the desk) and there was a membership appointment bungled because nobody had it down in their book and our boss showed up an hour late (later on, I see him look at the clock-in computer and curse; me: "You never clocked in, huh?" him: "Yeah. But I was here, they know that." me: "Yeah. *Bullshit.*"). The lady was pretty cool about it, but I totally wouldn't have been; we kept her waiting around for an hour for somebody to show up who could hook her up with a membership. And it pisses me off, because I could have done it; I've looked at the forms and such before when things were slow, and it's all self-explanatory, but we haven't been "trained" to do it and never will because it's a commission thing and part of our position, like I said before, is that we pick up the scut work for the front desk people (even though they're supposed to be on the same level as us) so they can sell memberships. LOL, though, at how boss was like, later in the day, "Let me show you how to do this paperwork stuff and use the computer system," and I was like "Bitch, plz. Where have you been; I've been doing this shit since Monday. And all morning, thanks to you."

Only about 5 kids today, though, which was nice, because they were good ones. Self-entertaining to an extent, some of them, so I did a sudoku while holding one of the little ones. Kept having to force myself to stay awake, though, because of the whole migraine the night before thing, which made working out afterwards hard (plus, the Compazine always screws with my balance, so treadmilling takes more effort than usual).

And I was supposed to go to the Dave Matthews Band concert tonight with Amnesty International to table for them, but after having volunteered and been accepted and then emailing twice over the past few days and never getting any specifics about when and where and what I needed to do, I didn't waste the gas driving down there to try and figure it out (because the place is far too big to try and find people when I don't even know how to get them to let me in, as I was ticketless).

Stupid computer that has Photoshop on it is still not working, which ticks me off, as I'm supposed to have made these cards to send out to the familia something like a few weeks ago. And I just found out today that the disk that I'd been looking for to install it on a different computer was thrown away a while ago by my father because it had gotten too scratched up. Gah.

Edit: Oh, and Clinton suspending her campaign? Doesn't that sound like something you do when you're, idk, planning on picking it back up again later? Just saying, odd choice of words.

Crazy neighbor types (washing off the driveway AGAIN when I got home this afternoon)? Definitely on drugs. Known because we had the whole house fan thing (gigantic built-in-ish majigger that sucks air into the house--handy when it's cooler outside than in because it gets the air moving with less energy than air conditioning) running and ended up filling our house with their marijuana smoke. And I wasn't even there when it was happening, dammit.

Interviewed for a job at the gym today. Kinda spur of the moment--I was at my gym, and they had their sign up saying that they were hiring. I'd asked about it before, and they always said that it wasn't for my place and/or that the job that I wanted (the babysitting one) was full, but I'd never asked the manager guy before and since he was there, I figured I'd make sure. The employees don't always know everything, you know? Anyway, I asked him, and he said that it was mostly for the new places they're opening, but that the one that was fairly close ("right across the street") was pretty desparate for a morning babysitter, as they open on Monday and didn't have one. My eyes go wide, and he's like "Oh, is that something you'd be interested in?" Me: "Ohyeah." Seeing as how that was the job that I wanted in the first place, and as he said that it was at the place 'across the street', sounded perfect. Erik (manager at my gym) asked if I'd any experience with that sort of thing, which I do, and then went to call Kevin (manager at "across the street" gym) to tell him about me. Fail!Kevin didn't pick up, so Erik told me to grab an application and fill it out and just run it over there.

I go home, change, fill out this application thing (as it needed phone numbers for references and such), look up basic instructions on how to get to this gym, and head back out.

This gym is not right across the street. This gym is right down the street that my gym is on, but this gym is 20 minutes away. I thought I'd passed it and was about to turn around and head back when I realized that the cross street that I've got to turn on to get into the little plaza thing where new!gym is was the street I was planning to do so in. Gah. It's literally going to be $2 of gas a day, should I get this.

But anyway, I go in there, talk to Kevin, he does basic interviewy things (tell me about yourself, this is what the job is, etc.), and says that he's got one other person coming in about 10 minutes after me and that he'll call me this evening.

No such call has occurred, however. Which is odd, because you'd figure he'd call either way. Whatever. I decided that if he offers it to me, I'll take it, simply because it starts on Monday and I can start making the cash right away. Thing is, though, methinks I don't get the perk of the free gym membership until after 90 days of working there. Which won't happen, because I'll be leaving for school. I didn't ask specifically because I didn't want to make it seem like I only wanted the job for the free membership, but he said that it was a 90 day trial thing before I was actually hired, and the membership's the only thing I can think of that would distinguish trial from non-trial employment, as it's part time, thus no other benefits. And that was the only thing that would make it even partially worth (but not, as I only pay $10/month for the gym) the extra $2/day of gas for the driving. And it's only a dime over minimum wage and in 4 hour shifts--if it were $2 extra in gas per 8 hours of working, it'd be better, you know? So I'll take it if he offers it, but I'm still going to look for something closer. I'd kill to work at the library, as they pay really well and I could walk, but they're not hiring. (Sending in an application anyway, though.)