commotiocordis

Dog is worse today in that he won't shut up. When he's in the kitchen and I can hear him all the way from my room in the back of the house with the door closed, it's gotten to the point where it's intolerable. He finally ate something today, though, after a bunch of days of not. And then threw up. But none of the food seemed to come up in the puke (LOL, tmi), so hopefully he's getting some nutrition down. Unless, of course, it actually is one of my earlier theories from when I was just throwing stuff out there and is a gastrointestinal issue, in which case we're probably just compounding the problem. Ehh, though, in that he's a good 30 pounds over the upper weight limit (for labs, at least; the fact that his mutt side is even larger breed gives him a tad more leeway, but the failvets said 80lbs and he's at 113) means he's got a while to go before he starves to death, as horrible as that sounds.

Tis not good that the weather's starting to suck again (it was really nice for a few days) because that means we can't throw him outside much when he gets like he is right now (whining just to hear himself whine--it was bad when I was back in my room, now that I'm out by him it's 10x worse because he thinks I can do something about it).

Idk. I can't fathom how my mother is staying asleep through this, because he's making more noise than a woman in labor and her bedroom's the closest one. I would have woken up and thrown him bodily out the back door, pain in his hips/wherever or not, the amount of fuss he's making right now. (I notice that he calms down when I turn to look at him, LOL. Drama queen.)

And in other news. Before, I don't think I ever got around to mentioning, I was like "Oh, semi-good--school has offered me tons of money, I now don't have to agonize about where I'm going next year because the decision has been made by the cashygoodness." (I say semi-good because I was going to feel miserable either way--pressured to make the decision or confined that the decision was made for me--but at least this way, there's not agonizing about having made the wrong choice, at least at this stage, because choice was made by notme.) And then on Thursday, mail comes. Other school offers similar amounts of cashy money (not all of it, like the first one did, but enough that another scholarship that I've already got would cover all but a couple of hundred a year). Decision once again put on my shoulders. Made harder by the fact that I've visited neither of said schools. So I spent last night trying to compare programs and acceptance of test scores for advanced credit and such. Not nearly done doing so, however. *sigh*

So the fat dog of ferocious cuteness?

. . . really sick. And I don't know what's wrong and I can't figure out where he's hurting, but it's bad.

He was acting weird all day yesterday, but we all figured that it was because my brother keeps having friends over and hanging out in the backyard (which is Rascal's domain) while leaving him inside so he can't mess up whatever the chitlins are doing out there (it has to do with building something, though I've not been allowed to know what). Same situation, same response this afternoon. Whining/crying a lot. But, you know, dog wants to go play, he whines. This was a weird crying, though, more towards what you'd think of as sobbing, I guess, but dogified. Still, thought it was weird, but shrugged it off. I also noticed he was acting doofusy-er than normal (he had trouble figuring out that he needed to back out of this corner of obstacles he got himself into and kept just trying to push forward past the box), but sometimes you just don't know with him--he can be really, really smart or totally retarded depending on the day and what you're trying to get him to do.

Last night, though, I really should have realized something was up. He was crying outside really late--I got home from mock trial around 9:30 or 10, ate, went to bed for a few hours, got up at 2, and he was doing it fairly constantly/often from then until when I left the kitchen (room where the computer is right next to the door to the backyard) to get ready for school a bit before 7. There were obvious breaks where he'd be asleep, but the pain was obviously (well, not obviously then, but obviously now) waking him up. More of this sobbage stuff--it reminded me at one point of a woman in labor, because there was panting too (as there was during the afternoons, but it made more sense then because he was wound up due to all the people around). I figured he just wanted inside the house, but it was a beautiful night (as it is tonight--fail at us not having a screen door anymore since it broke, or I'd have the door open) and I had massive amounts of work to do and didn't want to mess with him, so he stayed outside.

But I come home from the gym tonight, and Mum's like "Don't mess with the dog. He's sick or something." Me: "Yeah, he's been crying a lot lately." Discussion about how we all thought that it was just him doing it because he wanted to play with all the stupid neighborhood kids Tyler keeps traipsing through our house. But yes. Now he's evidently having trouble walking--Mum thinks it's his back legs, but he will occasionally get up and use them (he did a few minutes ago--let out this loud, almost surprised barksob of pain and a few seconds later, scrambled to his feet to come whine closer to me. It was horrible because he was trembling all over just trying to sit up but still managing to wag his tail when I talked to him, but all I could say to him was that I was sorry that I couldn't really do anything about it, and it was heartbreaking), so I think it's a systemic thing. And he's not got the sniffles or a cough or sneezes or anything, he's not throwing up or having diarrhea, so I've got no ideas. No good ones. I'm afraid it's a heart attack or some such--it wouldn't really be surprising, considering he is really overweight and though he's not ancient, he isn't exactly a spry young pup anymore (he's 8 or so, which should give him a good 5 more years if it weren't for the weight).

He's finally asleep now (methinks, or at least quiet), which is good. The pain was keeping him awake/waking him up earlier, which was sad, because he was just lying there on this big foamy cushiony sheet thing we pulled out of somewhere for him tonight with pitiful eyes and the occasional exhausted whine of pain. And it's worse, because it's not like either of my parents can just run off and take him to the vet first thing in the morning--the earliest we can get him anywhere is in the late afternoon, and that's after leaving him outside by himself all day.

Gah. Methinks we're going to continue giving him bits of asprin, because I gave him the first dose a few hours ago and he definitely doesn't appear to be as bad as he was when I got home, which is win. I just wish I knew what was wrong--even if I still couldn't do anything about it for the time being, at least I wouldn't be so preoccupied by the sheer mystery of it.

I so wish I had a video camera.

There are ambulances going down the highway by my house. They pass. The sound continues to a lesser degree. I look out the back window. Tis the dog, howling at the exact pitch and . . . idk, doppler effect tone change as the ambulances were. For pure on-keyage, he's pretty damn impressive. I wonder why he does it?

Because I am a failure, a good half or so of the paragraph that I'm on for this paper that was due yesterday has been left on my computer at school. So rather than write it again, I think I'm going to bed now to hopefully be able to pull together that plus a conclusion into a page or so during the 70ish minutes I'll have free before economics. Shouldn't be too hard, but then again, until my dog shut up (he thought he didn't get enough to eat tonight before we ran out of dog food, the baby, and so cried for hours until I finally tossed him a couple of pieces of bread just to shut him up before I was forced to open the front door and let him out into the neighborhood so he'd bother somebody else) I only managed to scrape together about half a page in some two hours.

Ehh. This is life. I do not want to get bitched at for not taking the trash out (in 4 hours or so). Like always.

Reminds self. You made up a couple of page numbers for the second book citation. If you ever want to do anything with this paper beyond turn it in to econ, fix that.

Edit: Oh, and I found that Star Trek book, Before Dishonor, that everybody's been talking about. It was Peter David, what can I say? Perhaps talk to come on that. It confused me, because I'm pretty sure there was supposed to be a book before that, but nothing in this book said so, so idk.

I had a dream last night. The part that I can remember most vividly went something like this:

I was in a meadow/park thing with my dog. And there were some goats. And one goat decided to headbutt my dog. Dog's reaction was adorable (all confused like, which is totally what Rascal'd do, because he'd be all Labrador and "I want to be your friend!"), so I lol'd. Goat then sees me. Decides to go after me instead. I'm trying to fend it off, because getting headbutted hurts (though not completely successfully) and I hear this snort behind me. It's a big ram thing. With humongous pointy horns. And it looks angry. And so then I was thinking: do I try to be nonthreatening and hope it won't attack me, but almost definitely get gored if it decides to, or grab the horns (which is def. threatening and it would most def. try to attack me then) in hopes that I can steer the horns away from my body? I ended up grabbing them and was trying to keep it back when the dream ended.

But the overarching theme of the dream and what I was thinking the entire time was "Oh shit. I'm gonna get gored."

I think it's prophetic.

My dog is whining loudly. And it's too late for him to do that, because I can't let him outside, because the door opening/closing at 2:30 in the morning is loud enough (and a distinctive enough sound) to freak people out. And then he'd bark, and I'd open the door to let him in, and he wouldn't come in and would instead want to play, so I'd close the door, and then he'd bark again. Grr. So he's staying inside. Methinks he prolly just wanted either food or to play anyway.

Ah ha. It was indeed food that he wanted. He got all twitchy and tail-waggly when I moved near the food bucket. I realized that I didn't remember seeing anyone feed him tonight (though I was out shopping with dad for an hour or so, so I may have just missed it), so I figured it wouldn't hurt to give him a bit of food more to shut him up.

And now he's asleep. Annoying animal. Cute, but not conducive to discreetly staying up late.

*uses Richard Dean Anderson icon because he is rather puppy reminiscent in this picture*

The girl that plays Lucy Diamond on D.E.B.S is crazy hot. I'd hit that so fast you wouldn't even know I'd ever been anywhere but her bed. /randomuptoolatecomment. Looks rather like Danica Patrick, IMO. I didn't think it was going to be an amazing movie; it started out a little weak, but I ended up thinking that it wasn't bad. Mostly because of the Jordana Brewster hotness. (Did I really just find a picture of her with her arm around Eliza Dushku? That much hot in one picture should be illegal.)

"If You Hadn't But You Did" is a funny song. Especially when done by the Cheno. I want to be a backup violist for her. For anybody, really. T'would be cool. Get to reherse with good singing type people.

That Chinese girl on Studio 60 played the viola, and I was like "Yay." Though I understand all the "Why viola and not violin" stuff. The viola'd need to be 21 inches to be right for the wavelength of the sound that comes out to resonate right for its specific (lower) range, and "full-size" (though there isn't really a full size, it's considered more or less such) is 16 inches. So it's harder (read: more expensive) to get a good sounding viola (because you can get a really nice sounding one without it being 21", seeing as how nobody could play that, but it'd have to be a high end thing, while good violins are comparably really cheap). But she's totally right about there being a shortage of good viola players. That's why all these violin players end up playing viola, because they can't get a seat in whatever orchestra on violin because there are 600 people auditioning on violin, but there are only say 150 for viola (though the section is smaller) so you've got a better chance. I did the opposite, though. Got fed up with the crappyness that is the viola part in almost everything and taught myself to play the violin, cello, and string bass.


Enterprise episode "Stigma" doesn't suck as badly as I thought. I knew the story but missed the episode when it aired, and I figured it was going to be bad because it was the requisite AIDS episode, but it isn't horrible. I'm only about half way through, though. I do understand where the people that thought it was a cop-out are coming from, but it hasn't seemed horrible. Better than nothing, IMO. The fact that they didn't then mention that T'Pol had this progressively fatal disease for 3 more years then was pretty bad, though. (But when they did resolve it? There was much Vulcan gay in that. T'Pau was such a lesbian.)

It is making me giggle how mind melding is a metaphor for gay sex (and was treated as such back then). Because if you think about how many Vulcan mind melds there have been over the course of the many years of Star Trek and replace each instance with gay sex, it's rather entertaining. Makes a couple of my pairings explicit canon.

Line. (Paraphrased)
(random chick) Feezal: I'm a woman; that's all that matters, right?
Trip: Urm, I've got to go. (Like "Well, it does sort of matter in the fact that I dig the guys, but I'm not going to tell you this so to defuse a potentially awkward and outing situation, bye.")
Trip then goes and talks with Malcolm. Some random talk, and then:
Malcolm: You haven't given her any reason to believe . . .
Believe what? That Trip is interested in her, or that Trip is straight? It is the homosexuality/AIDS allegory episode.

Yay Trip/Malcolm. I only really started picking up on all of the Trip/Malcolm recently, as the first time through I was a bit Trip/Archer and majorly zooming in on anything Hoshi/T'Pol. 'Tis loads of gay in that there show if you know where to look.


Man, I missed Hugh on that late night show (I always get them all mixed up, Jay Leno I think it was). I thought it started 30 minutes later than it actually did, so I missed the first half. Curses.

I'm working at the voting thing (not the real voting, unfortunately, but volunteering at the fake voting for kids) tomorrow, so I'm missing all my classes. Bad, however, in that I got nothing done tonight and if I'm going to be working all day tomorrow, I'm not going to have time to get stuff done during classes like I would normally do (as we do nothing in any of them) and I've got to leave for minimed at 5 after (unless I can bum a ride home) only getting home at about 4:50 after liberal union, so no time there. Going to be up pretty late Tuesday night, it's looking, if I want to get anything done. Probably will be up late and still get nothing done, though.

My joints have been giving me hell today because it's all rainy. Bad.

There's a major eyefucking bit in the Enterprise episode "Vanishing Point" between Hoshi and T'Pol that made me happy. Okay, so T'Pol can't so much see Hoshi, but Hoshi can see her and is still staring her in the eyes for a long time. Like 30 seconds. I've got to figure out how to rip that from the DVD to make it into an icon. My brother has to return the DVD tomorrow, though, so I'll have to figure it out and then remember to get the episode again so I can do it.

My dog is moaning. This stupid whine-moan. It's annoying. It's because he wants me to play with him, and I would except for it's 12:20 am and he's big and therefore loud when he stomps around the floor right above where my father is sleeping. But I feel bad for not playing with him. If he just wanted me to pet him, that would be okay, but when I tried to he started jumping around and thrashing his tail and it took a really long time for him to calm down.

*goes back to finish watching "Stigma"*