commotiocordis

Bible chapter that needs turned into a hit song? Ezekel 23. Contains such lines (in Young's Literal Translation) as:

2 Two women were daughters of one mother,
3 And they go a-whoring in Egypt, In their youth they have gone a-whoring, There they have bruised their breasts, And there they have dealt with the loves of their virginity. (This one's the chorus.)

8 And her whoredoms out of Egypt she hath not forsaken, For with her they lay in her youth, And they dealt with the loves of her virginity, And they pour out their whoredoms on her.

9 Therefore I have given her into the hand of her lovers, Into the hand of sons of Asshur on whom she doted.
10 They have uncovered her nakedness, Her sons and her daughters they have taken, And her by sword they have slain, And she is a name for women, And judgments they have done with her.
11 And see doth her sister Aholibah, And she maketh her doting love more corrupt than she, And her whoredoms than the whoredoms of her sister.

17 And come in unto her do sons of Babylon, To the bed of loves, And they defile her with their whoredoms, And she is defiled with them, And her soul is alienated from them.

19 And she multiplieth her whoredoms, To remember the days of her youth, When she went a-whoring in the land of Egypt.
20 And she doteth on their paramours, Whose flesh [is] the flesh of asses, And the issue of horses -- their issue.

NB: Yes, hung like donkeys comes from the bible. Who knew? That's how I originally found this passage, natch. You know how some people sign things with Bible verses or put them on their checks or something, just the book + chapter:verse? I wanted to start doing that with a fun one, just occasionally, to see if anybody ever looks them up.

First, I was thinking of the shellfish is an abomination one (which, thanks to President Bartlet, I can tell you is Leviticus 11:10), just to counter the homosexuality is an abomination verse later in the same book and because it's delightfully random, but the actual text isn't very poetic, so I went shopping around. From the site I found that highlighted 19 and 20 of this passage: This verse is particularly explicit, informing us that Egyptians are hung like farmyard animals, and can ejaculate in quantities to rival the annual flooding of the Nile. Keep in mind, the Egyptians were the Jews' former slave masters and are the bad guys in this story. So, you know their reputation for supreme endowment was well earned when the worst their enemies could say was, "Go on! Go back to those big-cocked bastards! I hope you're happy with their enormous dongs."

Finishing reading the aforementioned site (9 Most Badass Bible Verses on Cracked.com), and my stomach muscles are cramping up from the laughter (atm, as a result of the ball crushing bit). Seriously. I interweave the link no longer: read this.


In other, significantly more TMI news, a letter.

Dear Vagina.
Seriously, WTF? A super plus tampon in an hour? We're not 12 anymore, thanks.
Sincerely,
Alexandria

And to cap it off, I may need to scrounge up the dinero to pay my entire semester's tuition sometime next week, as the school decided to be a dickwad and change around their payment schedule so I only get my scholarship money a month after tuition is due. What. The. Fuck. Sure hope the parents are feeling generous, as 98% of my money's tied up in a CD until February.

Evangelical pastor Rick Warren, whose participation drew criticism from liberals and gay rights groups, directly invoked Jesus as expected in his invocation, but did so personally.

"I humbly ask this in the name of the one who changed my life," he prayed.

He also quoted from the most important prayer in Judaism, the Sh'ma, when he said, "Hear O Israel, the Lord is our God. The Lord is One," and he called God "the compassionate and merciful one," a phrase from Muslim devotion.
Inaugural prayers aim for a more diverse America - Yahoo! News

Color me surprised. And impressed. The whole "who changed my life" bit felt pretty much like a late-night televangelism testimony session, but the rest (as well as Obama's shoutout to the secularists in his speech) was neat.

And then we get to Roberts. Way to fail, sir. Now we don't actually have a president, as according to Article II of the Constitution and all, he's got to say those 35 words (that are in there in quotation marks, so I think even though he got them all in but out of order, it doesn't count) before taking office. Which he didn't.

Plus, "So help you God?" Not in there. What if he didn't want to say that part? I mean, no reason that he wouldn't, really, but putting that in there as a requirement in the oath sets precedent. Especially since Roberts will probably be doing the next, idk, 8 inaugurations since he's all of 53--now we've just injected a religion requirement into a Constitutionally required element of taking the Presidential office.


Back here in podunkville, fail that after finally finishing the 8 page review exercise for chemistry that every other lab section gets to turn in next week, but my teacher's an ass, I not only have psychology homework to finish (1 page on Dorothea Dix; totally easy but I keep trying to make it harder somehow because idk, using the first hit on Google just seems wrong) and chem lab prep still to do (that's going to be during lunch, because I'm already falling asleep), during the open hour that I thought I'd be able to use to throw the psych paper together I've got a meeting with the guy running the lab I'm supposed to be researching in this semester to go over what's going to be my project for the semester. And I have no ideas. None. I pulled up a couple of pages to read some about what work's already being done in those fields (that's the problem--all of my ideas don't have to do with this DNA repair stuff; I dig much more macro things than that).

And in microbiology news (my 8am class tomorrow), I think I've already "missed" that twice. I swear the guy takes attendance at 7:55 or something, because I was late twice already (of the three class periods we've had so far, major fail; it's almost exactly the opposite corner of the campus from me and it's been so damn cold and windy that riding my bike and walking take the same length of slow) but only maybe 7 minutes the first time and no more than 3 the second, but I don't remember having attendance taken either time. But it happened on the first day, and it's mentioned in the syllabus that though it's not for points, if you've got <4 misses he takes that into account when putting together final grades, so to have lost half of that grace period of 4 in the first week is really pissing me off.

I really, really need another Dr. Pepper as I'm thirsty as hell, but Chelsea moved her bed over near the door more, so I'm reluctant to get up and open it and trek out and back, etc. And I've only got one cold can left, and only 6 I think overall (and I bought the cans rather than my normal 2-liters in the first place because I could just grab one in the mornings, not to drink them while in bed). Plus, I'm thinking about going to sleep now and getting up at 6 or something to finish this Dix thing and try to read over some lab stuff because I'll just be able to take my Ritalin early and let that help keep me up, as opposed to how I'm obviously not able to take it now or risk never going to sleep tonight (and crashing 6-8 hours from now, putting it smack in the middle of my classes).

Another note, because procrastination is my thing. Michelle Obama's dress at the balls? Not a fan. The skirt was white and sparkly and pretty, but the bodice frankly looked like somebody had taken a roll of toilet paper and wrapped it around her chest and over one shoulder a bunch of times.