commotiocordis: Green on black, an animated depiction of a normal heart rhythm on an ECG monitor. (Default)
Worked at my dad's school all afternoon on Tuesday for some competition for all the middle school gifted students in the district. I didn't actually get to see any of them compete, though, which was somewhat disappointing as it sounded like a pretty cool thing -- they wrote skits a while back, memorized them, etc, and when they got to the competition they were given a character, a prop, and a line that they had to work in somehow and they only had a few minutes to figure out how. I believe that may have only been one part of the competition, though, as there seemed to be a lot of different categories that didn't quite seem to fit with what he had told me they did when Dad was announcing the awards. That and his kids (or at least one group of them, I'm not sure how many there were or how it exactly worked) won, so I imagine they were pretty good at it. Problem was that it took a while -- he said we'd be home around 6, we didn't get back until 7:40 at the earliest. And I hadn't gotten much sleep Monday night and had been standing up making popcorn and running things around for hours Tuesday afternoon, so when I got home I decided to take a nap. Nothing strange there. Until I didn't wake up until 3:30am. Ouch. And then I looked at my watch, figured screw it, and went back to sleep. So I didn't have anything done for classes today. Not that I would have done anything anyway, but I had to take two Spanish quizzes over parts of the play I hadn't read (one because I was planning to read it Tuesday night and one because I thought we didn't have to have it read until Thursday but probably would have started Tuesday night anyway had I been awake).

So I missed NCIS and House and everything. Not fun there. I'll have to get those some time.

Tonight we went to our credit union's annual members' meeting thing. Twas at some banquet center thing and I expected thusly the food to be quite good, but it was merely passable. Not bad, but nothing to brag home about. Still. You walk in the door and they give you one of those plastickyacrylic drawstring tote bag things and a magnetic memo board, then they feed you, then they talk for a bit (but it wasn't that long, thankfully), then they introduce everybody, then they do a trivia contest and draw door prizes. We were in first on the trivia the entire time until the music category (which you'd think I'd be good at, but it was all really old popular stuff; they'd give you a line and you'd have to give the next one without even having been given the song or artist) where we ended up down by one and got beaten in the STL Landmarks category (because it was all downtown, where I never go. Seriously, it's sad. I've lived here all my life and I know Chicago better).

Funny thing was, I had been joking the entire time about how the door prizes should have been cash instead of stuff at the credit union meeting (it was totally random-- some wine basket, a garden hose, potpourri and dish, fancy lotion, a container with a bunch of snacks, etc.), and then the trivia prizes were cash. So I made $5 for getting second, which was especially nice considering I knew virtually none of the questions (usually I'm passable, but these were obviously geared for the older crowd; after me and some of the younger bank teller types that worked there, the next youngest was easily my mom, followed by my dad, and besides them I doubt there was anybody under 60) and was of little help at all. That and two muffin tins and a box of blueberry muffin mix from the door prize. So. Five bucks, a bag and memo board, and muffins; I'd say that was a good haul.

Talked to my old US history teacher today and asked him if he knew of any political cartoons that I could use for this dumb research paper I've got to do for history. Because he always had cartoons to illustrate stuff (because that was what was on all the tests and he wanted to prepare us. Which he did well. Looking back, he was probably my favorite teacher that year for sheer volume of stuff learned) and I was having trouble finding a good one. As my teacher of this year strongly suggested that we have one as part of our bazillion required sources. The whole assignment is crap. It wouldn't bother me so much if he didn't insist on calling it a Document Based Question, which implies an essay with 5-8 sources given to you which you use to support your given topic that you should be able to write in about 50 minutes (as it was on the US History test and will be on the History of the Americas test), and not a research paper with a given topic and 5-8 sources we've got to go find. When he calls it a DBQ it makes it sound like it's okay that he assigned this big, high point valued paper to be done in a week right before the huge finals start.

On that note. Looked at my calendar thing today and freaked out. Evidently my math tests are only in a week and a half and chemistry in two. Holyfuck. I had no idea. I've been trying to keep my head above (as these next two or three weeks are frakking hell every year in every class) in my non-hugeassfinals classes and not really reviewing at all for the ones with said finals. So I'm going to go die now.
commotiocordis: Green on black, an animated depiction of a normal heart rhythm on an ECG monitor. (Default)
So, when this theatre thing says "approximately 3000 words in length", am I going to get knocked off for it being much closer to 4000? Because this is even without a lot of the stuff that I had intended to put in there; it's maybe 2/3 of all the stuff I wrote over the semester and a half so far.

Edit: Well, damn. You know it's late when I was somehow thinking that I was only 100 words over, and not 1000. That is way too much. *starts trimming*

Ah, bugger it. I've been actually working on it for about 3 hours, more or less straight, so that's impressive. Because a lot of what I first wrote was rambly as I was writing about the rehearsal I was observing as it was going on and such, so I had to not only type a bazillion pages worth of crap but fix and rewrite it all too.

Now onto the math. Grr. As I don't know how I'm supposed to do this thing as it gives us a bunch of data and I know the type of equation I'm supposed to extrapolate (it's half-life of a malaria drug), but my calculator won't do that. So, umm, I'm just going with the best thing the calculator can give me. Because I still have a lot of history to learn (as he didn't frakking teach anything, as usual), a bio lab to finish, and a 3 paragraph english thing to write after that. The only one that actually might get done tonight (as it has to) being the math, however. Everything else can be done shittily in the morning or during the day.

Last day before spring break, though, yay for that. After this, it's mostly all review for finals and such in my harder classes, and all the major paper type things are done save one more in English, I think. Good.

Staying awake purely thanks to the power of Diet Dr. Pepper and slightly stale popcorn. (It shouldn't be stale as I only made it last night and this stuff lasts forever because it's made in the actual popcorn machine type thing, but it rained late last night and was horridly humid both inside and out and that killed it slightly. Still tastes good, just have to chew it longer.)
commotiocordis: Green on black, an animated depiction of a normal heart rhythm on an ECG monitor. (Default)
Continuing to fill up your flists.

Wrote a paper last night. We needed external sources for it, though, and I couldn't find any that would work. So I spent hours searching for the sources thinking that I should play my paper to the sources seeing as how there were so few/no useful ones, thus needing the sources first, instead of just writing the paper, finding crappy sources, and quoting them with total throwaway lines that were already in my paper and don't really say anything hugely meaningful. And I spent a long time looking. Obscure Nathaniel Hawthorne short stories are hard to find literary criticism on. I actually started looking for stuff a little before I went to work, more when I got back (though I was doing other things at the same time, I was at least looking), and then for several hours. Just counting the time when I finally forced myself away from everything else to focus completely on the source finding, I figure I spent a good 3 hours just trying to find things to cite. So. With the source finding, I ended up not finishing it by 6:30 Monday morning (meaning when I've got to stop doing whatever and get dressed and catch the bus) and as such spent most of my class time/lunch all day writing down the last two paragraphs. I was supposed to type them up and send them to the teacher right after school, but then my brother ran in the house to beat me onto the computer and I was too tired to fight with him and fell asleep before he got off. So I'm going to tell her that and send it to her nowish (I still haven't actually typed it, I only just remembered I needed to a few minutes ago) hope she doesn't decide to give me a zero. Hopefully I'll be okay, because my stomach is still all with the urghy lately and I've not quite gotten over whatever it was, meaning sleep is needed like whoa, and she seems to like me.

So yeah. Got home, slept for close to four hours, sister woke me up. Twas niceish, though, because she woke me up to ask me if I wanted to watch Heroes because it was about to start. Couldn't get back to sleep, though, which made me sad. I actually did get about an hour last night, because I realized that I wasn't working on my paper very strongly and decided to get a little bit of sleep and resume working on it even harder (because of the less time as a result of the sleeping) rather than semi-work all night and get no sleep at all. But I'm pretty tired right now, and I've still got a lot to do. With all the sick I've been having lately, I'm so behind it isn't even funny. I'm just trying to get the work done that's due each day and I haven't had time to work on the stuff that's late at all. I'm doing really poorly in all my classes because of it and it's making me miserable, because I've got bad grades and so much work to do, which makes me feel all depressed and bad, which makes me feel up to doing even less work. But I'm dropping calc as a credit course and just auditing it, so I don't have to worry about my miserable grade in there anymore at least.

I don't know what's up with me now. I'm completely avoiding doing all work. Not just procrastinating--I'm not doing it. I've completely given up, and because I don't feel all miserable particularly right now (though my hugely miserable is on a different scale than other people's), I can't figure out why. If I was all hugely depressed and not doing my work, I'd get it. And though I am slightly depressed right now, it's not to the point where it normally begins to impede my functioning this much. I get physically ill when thinking about all the work I have to do/should have done, which just sounds like stress, but I make it worse by then not doing it. You know, come to think of it, this is really just a continuation of my procrastination thing. When I'm not doing the work, I'm usually not thinking about it, meaning that I don't feel all stressed and sick. I used to put it off until the last possible minute because I was avoiding the physical symptoms that come as a result of realizing how much shit I've got to do. (Of course, just doing it immediately and then not having the intermittent stress every time I remember what I've got to do/think about it would be much smarter, but my body doesn't know that and just wants to avoid the pain for as long as possible.) I've moved beyond that to just not doing anything. And I hate it, because I know that not doing it makes it worse because I'm agonizing over not doing it, but my dumb brain wants to avoid whatever is causing the anxiousness for as long as possible, and I've just moved from as long as possible to never.

Defense mechanisms. I'm full of them. I kinda hate my brain.

Especially because it lets me sit here and type things and angst for 2.5 hours when I've still got all this work that I could be doing. *headdesk*
commotiocordis: Green on black, an animated depiction of a normal heart rhythm on an ECG monitor. (Default)
So. Was making cookies. I was like "Okay, let's give people cookies for Christmas." Yeah, no. They didn't cook right. Twas my fault, though, as they said 10-12 minutes and they weren't done then, so I put them back in for another 10 minutes and they still weren't done, so instead of going short increments, I stuck them in for another 10 and then they got too dry.

And then my dad was like "Oh, you can microwave them too." And he put one in, but we have two microwaves, see (no idea why) and he put it in the newer, stronger one, so it burned really badly. As in, that was almost 10 minutes ago and I can still barely breathe even though we've got the microwave sucker fan thing going that sucks the air to the outside.

Spanish final tomorrow. Not nearly as worried about that as I think I should be. Math is what's going to kick my ass. Haven't studied for any of them, though.

Still don't know when we're leaving for Texas. Looks like Saturday morning. My grandma wanted mum to just pull me out of Friday school and go down then, but I was like "Yeah, says right here that if you miss a final and don't have a note from the appropriate medical or legal authority, you get a zero. Not happening."
Though my last two finals are bio and chemistry; I only really need to put my name on the test of the former to get an A (because I've got like a 97% and this final combined with the midterm that I got a 98% on only make up 10%, meaning that even if I don't answer anything, I've got a 92%) and the teacher of the latter said that as long as we pass the final, it really doesn't count. So they're easy. But not missable.

Been reading fics to myself lately, which makes me smile. Especially because some of the really long ones are impossible to do in one take straight through so I'm merging bits together and the program I've got to do so (Sony's Acid Express) is pretty darn cool and I feel accomplished every time I make a seamless transition thing from one clip to another. The reads aren't great because I'm doing them while lying on my stomach on my bed into my Mp3 player and usually doing them in one take unless they're over 10 minutes or I majorly screw up. Like fumble on a page turn or something. That's happened a couple of times. It's like *pause, paper crinkle* and, next page. I tend to just restart from the beginning, though.
And has anyone else ever tried to do dialogue switching back and forth from a British accent to Southern US and back all quickly? That's hard. I can do both accents relatively well on their own, but trying to also man them up (because it was Reed and Trip from Enterprise, both men) and do them quickly was majorly challenging. Didn't sound terribly accurate.
Grr at me a bunch of times screwing up and deleting the wrong file from the player. I try to delete the one that I just recorded, but it doesn't always start on the delete menu with the most recent one, sometimes it goes from the one before or from the beginning and it doesn't tell me how many tracks are on there, so I just have to guess what number I was on and I've been wrong at least twice and deleted complete, good, one-take reads.

But if anyone else has/knows of places to get good fics in recognizable fandoms on audio, I'd like to see them. I've got a couple that I really want to listen to, but I'm forcing myself to save them for the trip, and that's only a few.
commotiocordis: Green on black, an animated depiction of a normal heart rhythm on an ECG monitor. (Default)
Kicked that chemistry test's ass. As hoped. Needed a 63 or 65 or something to get an A, I got a 79. Wicked.

Only got 80% or so on the math test, which sucked. There's a very obvious difference between the first day of the test and the second on almost everybody's (mine's a 72 on day one and 87 on day two) because we all tried to do it for a really long time without the calculator before we all sort of picked our heads up at once and told the teacher that it was impossible. Which was entertaining, because it was like telepathy or something, it was literally everybody at the same time. So we only got the calculator for the last 10 minutes or so, which wasn't enough time. I stayed after for a few minutes to try and finish it, but I knew that I couldn't be late again or theatre teacher would have my ass, as I had been late the day before for another test also. So I sucked the first part up, as did everyone.

Was passing fics around today. Made me laugh. In math, I was reading a page and then passing it to Cy, who sits next to me. Through almost the whole story. Except I was missing a page, which saddened me. I had to just tell him what happened on that page. And Katie borrowed my other one to read during her math, which is same hour, different class. Yay for the sharing of the femslash love.

History teacher compounded review assignments, which made me scowl. He assigned one on Thursday due the coming up Thursday (that nobody worked on on Thursday because that was the day before part of our paper was due) and assigned another one today that's due at the end of class tomorrow. Grr. And I've got to revamp my summary of evidence because for some reason he still has a zero for me on that, which has me at like a D for quarter which is badbadbad, but due to my dumb thing, I don't want to give it to him and in doing so remind him that it's a zero. Even though I'm pretty sure I gave it to him way long ago, I might not have, and I don't like drawing attention to what could be my mistake.

So. Week before finals. Tis always a bitch. Got 5 hours of sleep total the week before finals last year. I don't remember if that was winter or spring finals, but I'm thinking spring. Luckily, though, the spanish, biology, and chemistry finals look to be (in order of mention) easy, ridiculously easy, and inconsequential this year. Math is going to suck, as it's 26% of our semester grade and won't bring me up really significantly, but has the power to pretty much fail me if I bomb it. History is going to suck because I don't know shit about it. As he hasn't taught shit about it. I was supposed to have a quiz today in that class--he replaced it with this dumb review assignment which I suppose is better, but annoying--and I realized last night that I had no idea what it was over. None whatsoever. I could not tell you anything we covered since the last quiz. Something about Canada. And John A. MacDonald. And Mounties. I remembered the Mounties. That was it. But then he had us read about Latin America in the book (which I couldn't find and must locate over break) and never talked about that at all, so I was worried that the Canadia stuff was in the last section and the Latin America was all that this quiz was over. Still don't know what it was supposed to be on. Though I really should be working on the dumb due-tomorrow review.

That's another thing. I've noticed that just this year, just these last few months, my procrastination has been taken to another level. It started with me doing things all the day before they were due. Okay. I'm cool with that. Then it became me doing them the night before they were due. Now it's more like me doing them at 4:30 the morning they're due. Or during classes before the class that it's due for, more likely. I've always done that, but it's become more and more, bigger things than just math homework or spanish pages.
And I'm pushing the turning things in late thing as far as it will go. It was a joke among my friends that they'd always say "Oh, Alexandria's not going to be at lunch Wednesday. We've got a paper due tomorrow," because I'd be writing the english papers at lunch. Not really writing, persay, but finishing, writing the last paragraphs or so. But still. I consider myself a master of estimating how long it will take me to do something and doing just enough of it to leave a manageable amount to do in the amount of time I had before class that day. Tis a skill. Don't know where I was originally going with this, so I'll stop.

Yahoo mail's been being a little whore for a week or so now. *pokes* Constantly it's giving me "cannot find server" and it's not my connection problem, as I've tried it at home and at school. And I refresh and it gives me error code 5. A lot. Quite often. Curses.

You know, this assignment wouldn't be that hard if he gave us the stuff we're supposed to compare/contrast with the few that he gave us. Like, the subject is social progress and we're given the 19th amendment for USA and have to fill in a similar event or thingie that compares or contrasts with that for each of Canada and Latin America from 1850-1920 and then define it and explain how it compares/contrasts. And there are 5 categories. Grr. If I could just come up with the stuff, it wouldn't be hard, but I've got no idea what Canada did regarding social progress. They're like us, only 50 years behind and boring. For example: we had a war over independence. Britain just didn't really want them any more and let them go. How lame is that. I would be insulted. It's like being the species that the borg doesn't want to assimilate. <- random Star Trek reference.
commotiocordis: Green on black, an animated depiction of a normal heart rhythm on an ECG monitor. (Default)
Random updates from the past week or so.

On Monday, I worked at the table at lunch for Transgender Day of Remembrance and got to use the line (in response to one of the principals who had gained a lot of weight really recently and Sadie thought might be pregnant) "rapidly expanding first trimester ass".

Monday night, up the entire time doing that paper so on Tuesday, I got home and pretty much just went to sleep and woke up in the evening (because I didn't have to go to school on Wednesday and so decided that I could sleep as long as I wanted).
Didn't remember that it was my brother's birthday (to make a long story short so this makes sense, he had a birth defect thingy -- you may remember my rant about the disgusting article that called the anencephalic baby an 'it' and "baby", quotes included, and talked about them parading him through the streets; this is why -- and died a few hours after he was born in 1999) on Tuesday until I dreamed while I was taking my extended afternoon nap/sleep thing about my mom crying. Totally forgot with the whole english paper thing that it was the 21st, and that was the only part of the dream that I remembered when I woke up, and I knew somehow that that was why she was crying. Yay, weird subconscious reminder dreams.

Did nothing the entire break. Got up at 4:30 on Friday to go down to Circuit City to try to get House season 1 (advertised for $13!) but parents didn't wake up until 7:30 and we didn't get there until 8:15 or so, so naturally none were left. Nor was the cheap hard drive just like my last one that I decided to get to use instead of the bulky one and only use the bulky one for backup and storing big movies and episodes and stuff. But the ad said season 1, and that was what was (supposedly, I heard from one person who had been there when it opened that there were only 3 copies) out there to be bought, but the picture on the ad was of season two. So I wanted them to give me both of them. Though they didn't have season one or season two at the first place, so I went to another store that had copies of season two left and made them give me it for the cheapy price. So yay for that.

And I knitted a whole lot. Made this bigish longish half a scarf, but I picked up a stitch somewhere and you didn't really notice that and I didn't notice that until I was quite past where I gained it (and still can't even see exactly what row I picked it up in) and so I just dropped one on the end, but that you can notice, so I'm kinda angered about that. You didn't notice my screwup, but the fixing of the screwup is obvious. I'm definitely going to go back and rip those last ones out until before I dropped it now so it's not so bad, because this thing is pretty long and I can't stand just wasting it.

And I finished Sula, at least. Haven't prepared for the presentation on the dumb Sula thing yet. Not doing that now.

So I did do some stuff over break. But none that actually helped me school-wise, save reading the book.

Finally went to the gym today after months of not going (I've gone maybe 4 times since school started at the end of August). I've gotten totally weak. Lost my mad sexy triceps. Though I was doing the tricep thing a different way (the right way, actually, now) so that would probably explain why I had more trouble than usual, because I was working a slightly different muscle when I was holding my arms a different way. But my mad sexy triceps are back, more or less, because I worked them enough that they're close to the old definition and should be back to normal if I keep going regularly. Watched a couple minutes of "The O'Reilly Factor", that was too sickening so I switched it to C-SPAN and watched some people from the US Institute of Peace talk about Syria/US relations without really saying anything which was only slightly less depressing, so then turned it to Fox, but "House vs. God" was on and that was the episode in which Wilson lost his awesome for sleeping with his patient, so I watched a few minutes of that until the first scene with Wilson and the patient and then just turned it off because we were leaving.

My dad called his mother today, found out that she had another stroke a week and a half ago and even though one of my dad's bum sisters (he and one brother out of 7 kids are the only ones that turned out any good, sad to say) is bumming off of my grandma and living with her on her social security and my grandfather's army money payment stuff, she didn't feel the need to let any of the rest of the family know that my grandma had a stroke. Whore. But I thought it was pretty cool that she figured out that she was having a stroke herself. She realized that she didn't know who the person (bum aunt) in the house was and figured out that she was having a stroke by herself (seeing as how aforementioned bum whore aunt probably couldn't figure it out if it was written on Grandma's shirt). Hospital people were mean to her again: they were making her lie down all the way back (which makes sense, to re-perfuse the brain after they gave her I assume TPA and probably warfarin) though she was telling them that the lying back was giving her an asthma attack. She was like "no, I can't breathe" and instead of figuring out "hey, she can't breathe, let's give her some medicine to fix her breathing and then ask her to lie down", they just strapped her down. And I assume, then treated her for the asthma attack. They did the same thing when she had colon surgery a couple of years back almost; the morphine made her nut out (like it did to her husband; there seems to be a genetic intolerance for morphine and such heavy duty pain killers on that side of the family) and they just figured she was senile and strapped her down and didn't talk to her normal doctor so he could say that she's not normally like this and something's wrong for a couple of days (because my dad and I had just left right before it kicked in) and only did she get fixed up when the non-bum brother of my dad came down there to visit and was all "WTF have you done to her?" But so she's lost pretty much the last 20 years, doesn't remember any of the grandkids (though for some reason my dad is lying to my brother and saying that now she does, because he'd get too upset if he thought that she still didn't, but the last thing I heard from my dad reporting it to my mom was that she still doesn't know), can't remember the date for longer than a few minutes (she asked my dad when they were on the phone several times), etc. But this is much improved from last week when it actually happened and she's bounced back from them before, so it might not be too bad. The only symptom she initially had was a swollen leg, meaning, I'm guessing, deep vein thrombosis from which a clot broke off and went to her brain. So she's got shunts in the leg now because there were still clots down there, but on the good side her heart is looking really good, better than it should be since she's had heart attacks and stuff.

Math teacher went in to labor reportedly last night, wasn't there today, yay for that. Not yay for the fact that the sub is bad (she just reads the steps in the example and doesn't give you time to think about what she's doing so you just copy it all down and try to figure it out later) and her voice is uber-grating.

So, yeah. To summarize, my math teacher being gone=good, sub sucking=bad, House season two for cheap=very good, weird somewhat predicting dreams=strange, going to the gym=good, Lisa Edelstein on Conan O'Brian right after these commercials=sex, grandma having stroke=bad, bum aunt not telling us about stroke=whoretastic. Also, me not knowing what to do for this presentation= v. bad.

Lisa on now. Bye.
commotiocordis: Green on black, an animated depiction of a normal heart rhythm on an ECG monitor. (Default)
So. Math. My teacher is a whore. End of story.

Okay, not quite. We'll go through the reasons she's a whore, just for fun.

10 Reasons Why My Calculus Teacher is a Whore.

1) She made me take a test with no warning after I had been absent for several days when she was teaching the stuff and had already arranged to take it another day.

2) She wouldn't give me a minute to look over my notes before I took the test.

3) This resulted in me getting a 71% because of my not knowing the formulas, when I would have known them had I a) been able to take it the day I had arranged, as I would have made time to study beforehand and/or b) had a moment to look over the notes before the test. Just the formulas alone lost me 15%. I would probably have been able to have gotten an A had I had time to study all of it, as I need very little time to learn this kind of stuff.

4) I also had to take two quizzes. And didn't get any of the quizzes/test/exams back before taking the next one. So a couple of the formulas that I actually thought I knew, I had wrong and didn't know it, resulting in me putting the same wrong answers down for all three exams.

5) One of those quizzes was a quiz purely over formulas. And again, she wouldn't give me a minute to look over my notes before I took the quiz. And I took that one right after taking the test, so I had had no time (or reason, I thought, as the test was over) to study or realize that I had been doing some of the stuff wrong.

6) She's got me down as having zeros on some homework that I know that I did and I'm pretty sure I wasn't absent when she checked it. There's no reason that I can come up with for her having zeros for those assignments.

7) She didn't tell me that I was responsible for an assignment that was done in class on a day I was absent (as in class things tend not to need made up in most classes unless they're huge), didn't even mention it, and as such, I have another zero.

8) Way back on an earlier quiz, I misread a problem to be the x root of some stuff instead of what it actually was, x times the square root of aforementioned stuff. Not only would she not just give me the points because I did the xth root problem correctly, even though it wasn't the actual question, but she wouldn't even just call me up there when she noticed it and tell me that I had read it wrong and ask me to do the real problem for her (because it was an easy problem and it was obvious that I had misread it). Nope. Just a big negative 4 points next to that problem.

9) She asked our class on Friday what she could do to punish her freshmen classes, as "God, [she] hates those kids". She spent a long time talking about how much she hates them without giving any particular reason for aforementioned hatred. And expressed desire to smack them and things. She mentioned already giving them tons of extra homework, but that they haven't seemed to catch on that that's punishment. I'd bet her money that quite a few of them have. And I'd go double or nothing that those kids that have noticed are the ones that aren't doing anything to deserve it. I despise teachers that punish whole classes for the antics of some, particularly because I've been in the not-some group (though often in the minority) many times.

10) She's never happy with the amount of talking going on in our class. This one seems rather trivial, but it's one that a lot of people have mentioned. The people in my calculus class tend not to talk a lot. She has said repeatedly that this silence freaks her out. Yet on some days when we happen to be talking amongst ourselves more than usual at all (usually Fridays or some such when nobody feels like doing work), she gets naggy about there being too much talking and not enough math. Lady, you're the one who on every other day says that we're too quiet. And there's plenty of math going on and the talking isn't loud or disruptive to the people that aren't talking and are concentrating fully on their work. It's crazy.

Yeah. And even other teachers don't like her. So I vote that she leaves a month early to have her baby (meaning last Wednesday) and stays away the whole rest of the year. I count myself crazy lucky that I happened to get her in the year that she's going on maternity leave in late November/December (though screwed as I have to have a sub for at least 6 weeks in the last few months before the AP and IB tests) because I won't have to have her for that much more time. I'd like to switch teachers permanently, but I don't think that there's another calc class at the same hour and I'm taking enough specialized classes that are only offered one specific hour of the day that moving around my schedule is all but impossible. Still, even though I've heard that the other regular (not the substitute) calculus teacher is boring as hell, I think I'd rather have her over one that's a bitch and unfair.

I've got to convince myself to just suck it up and go up there and tell her to give me credit for those homework assignments that she has zeros for. And ask if I can do that in-class thing and beg to maybe be allowed to retake one of those quizzes (even just to average it with my old score), though I doubt those will happen. But I really hate going up and talking to teachers and explaining things and such. And I find sometimes I'd rather have a zero on something than bring attention to the fact that I hadn't yet turned it in/talked to her about it/done well on it.

But this is killing my grade in there majorly. Like 66% for the quarter so far, majorly. I've never had a D. This isn't happening to me. If I can get the grade up to a highish C and do well on the final, I'll probably be able to pull a B for semester. And I've got to get at least a B for semester. Honestly, I don't know what I'll do if I don't. I'm already majorly freaking out about my grade in there right now to the point that every time I even think of anything math related that brings me to thinking about calculus, I'm on the verge of tears. 'Tis bad. And I should have fixed all of this earlier which makes it all pretty much my fault.
commotiocordis: Green on black, an animated depiction of a normal heart rhythm on an ECG monitor. (Default)
Theraflu multi-symptom thin strips are crazy. It's like $5 for only two days' worth, so I'd never buy them, but I sent my dad out for cold medicine because we didn't have any and this is what he came back with. They're those melt on your tongue things and they don't taste horribly, but they couldn't quite get rid of the medicine flavor. Still, it only takes a few minutes for it to hit you. And when it hits you, you know it. I don't know how to describe it, but I just felt weird. I started to notice it working, and then about 30 seconds later, it was like bam. My head was funny and sore like all the moisture in my body got sucked up into my skull, but I definitely lost the whole miserable aching groggyness (though it's got all the "don't drink or drive because you'll be drowsy" warnings, it also says that excitability may occur, which is strange) thing and my brain got clearer and my nose stopped running as much as it had been.

Though I'm sorta ticked because I didn't realize that the active ingredients in the Theraflu stuff and this allergy pill stuff that I considered taking (but dismissed because I didn't know if it would do the same thing) were identical. (Not the pseudoephedrine stuff, but they were both diphenhydramine. Same basic thing.) So my dad spent $5 on this Theraflu stuff when the exact same thing was right there on my counter. Still, the pill stuff wouldn't have hit me as fast as the strips did, which is good. I figure I can take the pills at home and take a couple of the strips to school as they're all individually wrapped and nice and it's hard to get to a water fountain sometimes and sneak a pill into your mouth in the middle of the hallway. Because, though I'm now medicated, I'm still pretty darn sick. Grr about that.

I was trying to figure out who gave me the cold and I couldn't come up with anybody that I hang out with that's been sick recently. Yeah. I think it was my whore of a math teacher. Why me and nobody else in the class that I know of is beyond me, as I try to stay as far away from her as I can. That or the person behind my parents at church on Saturday, though my parents managed to pass it to me without getting it themselves.

And both of my siblings and my mother are off of school tomorrow. And I've got to stay after for dumb quartet. Dumb because the person that I like the most in the quartet is not going to be there so it's going to suck. And really dumb because since she wasn't going to be there, we had earlier decided not to have practice, but I got called a few hours ago and was told to bring my viola. And I don't want to have to stay after when I'm sick. But my Spanish teacher wasn't there today and so I couldn't make up the test from Thursday; therefore I'll have to do it after school on Friday, so they can just figure out how to quartet without me. It's not like you'd notice if the viola part wasn't there anyhow; the cellist and first violinist both brought sets of really bad arrangements of Christmas music where in virtually every song the viola part is just random notes so the violist has something to do.
commotiocordis: Green on black, an animated depiction of a normal heart rhythm on an ECG monitor. (Default)
So. That math test that I predicted I could get no more than a C- on? 71%. C- exactly. I'm so pissed. Because not only did she not let me study after springing the test on me with no warning (and I get these things really fast, it would have taken me two minutes and I would have remembered the formulas for 15 points worth of questions, bringing me up to an 86%) but I realized that I had one of the formulas wrong completely in my head; like I thought I had it right (though I realized that it didn't make sense, I was almost positive that was what was in my notes) but I didn't.

I took two quizzes and a test with these formulas wrong, and since I didn't get the first quiz back before I took the test or either of those back before I took the second quiz, I had no idea I was doing it wrong. Got the test back today right after I finished the second quiz (which was actually from a while ago that I didn't know I and several other people had missed) and realized that I majorly fucked them all up. I had copied all the formulas onto a different sheet of paper to get them all from different pages in my notes onto the same place, and copied that one (which was needed on somewhere from 3 to 6 different problems on each of the test and two quizzes) down wrong. And pretty much majorly wrong, as I substituted an 'X' for the 'U' and the 'U' for a '1', so I had two variables, which didn't make sense at all, but that was all I could come up with. I knew the U was the variable, but I couldn't figure out where I got the X from. That, and I hadn't studied the formulas that I knew I didn't know for the quiz because I figured she already screwed me over on the test and there was no point, as I had no idea there was going to be a quiz.

Don't you think that the point of quizzes is to figure out what you're doing wrong before the test?

So pretty much I'm now stuck with a C for semester no matter what I do.

And it's stupid stuff. I'm good at math. She docks points for stupid shit. Like missing all the points of a problem for things that other teachers would take off one or one-half for. I can figure out ways to do things when I can't remember the way we were taught to do them (or, in this teacher's case, not taught). Did that on this test, got the answer for the problem completely right, but got no credit because evidently she wanted it done a different way. I have no idea what that different way was. You know, sometimes you remember something being talked about, know you should know it, but don't remember? I didn't recognize this at all.

So yeah. I was really angry. I've got no idea what I've got in there right now, but it's probably close to a D+ because the test and quizzes are pretty much all we've got on there and the quizzes were almost completely based on those formulas.

Got an 83% on the last bio test because we were doing the same unit in chemistry and they sort of contradict each other and evidently I went too in depth with my answers. How do you go too in depth? And I didn't know we had to do anything in our lab manuals and so when he told us to put them on the table so we didn't have to carry them around, I figured that that was the reason we were putting them there, not to be graded. Got a zero on that. Still haven't handed in that history thing because I keep forgetting and even when I don't forget, I've got this craziness that I'd rather never remind the teacher that I haven't yet turned it in/made it up/whatever and take a zero than remind them for points, but have to face them when I hand it in late. Which is bad. Haven't done my math homework in a while, got a Bio test tomorrow that I've not studied for (and don't really plan to), English test tomorrow over two short stories that I don't even have copies of because I wasn't there when they handed them out, and nowhere to go at lunch because the teacher that I usually hang out with isn't going to be there. I'm getting farther and farther behind while I'm waiting for this random wave of really bad depression to pass, which is making me even more depressed.

And then I was telling this to Katie and she gave me a hug and I managed to start sobbing my arse off in her arms in the middle of theatre class because everything has just been so fucked up for me in the past months and I'm pretty much to the point where I can't take it anymore.

Yeah. That's my story.

Edit: And I think my dog is outside playing with a rat. Eww. Lovely.
commotiocordis: Green on black, an animated depiction of a normal heart rhythm on an ECG monitor. (Default)
I don't like the new Internet Explorer version thing. With the tabs and all. Everything's in different places. Not cool. It's only on the new laptop, though, (which is almost out of battery and as such I'm going to have to get off in like 5 minutes) so that's good. It's not being all dumb on the real computer.

My calculus teacher is a whore. I made plans to make up part of a test that I missed on Thursday after school. Wednesday during class she tells me that I have to take it right then. And she won't let me look over my notes first. I was planning to do so before I took the test because I knew I didn't know the derivative formula things for several kinds of problems. And I try to get my notes out to look over them when she tells me that I've got to take it and she looks at me like 'hurry the hell up' and is standing by the door to make me go into another classroom and tells me that I need to go take it now. So there were at least 9 of them that I totally missed because I had no idea how to do them. Out of not that many. So basically, there's no chance of me getting anything higher than a C- on that part of the test. Because she's a whore. I could have remembered the formulas really easily after just glancing over them, but she wouldn't let me. Grr.

I have to use the line "I've seen sinking ships go down with more finesse than he/she did." in a story. Because I saw something like it on an icon and it is so perfect.

Got lots of work to do still. I haven't been doing anything lately because I just can't make myself do it. I just don't care. That's bad.

*battery dying*
commotiocordis: Green on black, an animated depiction of a normal heart rhythm on an ECG monitor. (Default)
One of my old friends that I used to talk to a lot online just had a baby. Yay, Xakana! We haven't talked in a year or so, though, which makes me sad. Don't you hate that? You just sort of quit talking, and it's all *is sad*. I knew she and her husband had been trying for a baby, but I didn't even know she was pregnant until she just posted on VJB that she gave birth last Sunday to a daughter.

Anyway. *Is happy for her.*

My brother bought the Pets thing for Sims 2, so now the computer is even slower. Grr.

I've got a math quiz and a chemistry quiz, the chemistry one over stuff that I was gone both lecture days for and as such I have no idea what we're even doing. And a history project bit due Friday that I really have to find the time to do. And a chemistry lab that evidently was due today that I totally didn't realize we even had to write up. At least my teacher finally coughed up my lab book. She kept claiming that all the books she had were in the folders at the back of the room, and suddenly mine appeared by (though not in) the folders today. Hmm. I wonder. She better not bitch about my lab being late, seeing as how I had to write it all on loose leaf paper and try to keep track of all the info separately because I didn't have the book.
commotiocordis: Green on black, an animated depiction of a normal heart rhythm on an ECG monitor. (Default)
Tomorrow is our drama club's Star Trek party. Conceived by Katie, our Theatre Arts teacher, and me during class when we were discussing the 40th anniversary. It's going to be pretty freaking awesome. Just for the crazy geek types like us. I brought my (father's) popcorn machine in after school today, which makes really good popcorn, and as long as I don't burn it, that should be cool.

I just love how the three of us were talking at the beginning of class, and we're just all geeking out over which episodes (of TOS, as that's the only one that the teacher really likes) were the best for us to show, and somebody'd mention one, and we'd all be like "Yeah! Because in that one, the scene where. . . ." The teacher ended up picking all episodes that we'd suggested, just because we're cool like that: "Amok Time", which Katie and I were pushing from the beginning, "Mirror, Mirror" because the mirror universe is just the most fun a Vulcan can have without entering Pon Farr, and "City on the Edge of Forever".

The best part of when we were discussing the episodes to show was when we were talking about "Amok Time", because I go "Let's just face it. Pon Farr is the best plot device ever." And we all laughed and laughed. . . .

(Though we were totally pushing "Amok Time" simply for the Kirk/Spock.)

I've got to get through a calculus test before then, though. Which is going to be hard. The teacher puts things on the tests that we don't know how to do, and expects us to use our mathy skills to figure it out. Which would be okay to do as an activity or something, but on a test where you're timed, it's difficult. Add that to the fact that she doesn't really teach worth anything, and does the same 'you've got to figure it out' crap on our homework, and this is going to suck.

Calculus tests = bad. Calculus tests where you can't use the calculator = really bad.

Oh, and my english teacher is an idiot. Yeah. She told us today that she had "a" article for us on Marxism and Arthur Miller, "a" article on something else, and "a" article on a third thing. 3 bloody times in a row, she said this.
She still interrupts us during Socratic seminars, even though the paper she gave us on how to do these seminars (though we've all done them before) said that you weren't supposed to do that. And she lectured us today after the seminar on how it's supposed to be a discussion, not an argument. She said it like she was chastizing us, when there was nothing even resembling an argument going on. Somebody pointed that out (I would have, but I was busy just sitting there, looking at her in a mixture of disbelief and loathing), and she totally ignored her and just kept on lecturing.


But still. Yay, marathon of TOS episodes. Yay, Katie and I sitting there and pointing out all the slashy bits.

Must go learn math and write a proposal for my english essay (though it hardly counts as a proposal when she gives us three choices for the essay and has us pick one, there's nothing to propose).
commotiocordis: Green on black, an animated depiction of a normal heart rhythm on an ECG monitor. (Default)
All the teachers today were like "If we have a snow day tomorrow..." I'm like, yeah right. There's no way. You know why it's not going to snow? Because I'm not yet on spring break. If it snows, it will be all next week. It also isn't going to snow because I have two tests, one both of which I don't have the slightest idea what are about.

Honestly, I don't know what I've been doing in math for the past two weeks, because I have no idea how to do hyperbolas. Or circles, or elipses, or parabolas. You know what I was thinking about? Hyperbola goes with hyperbole, and parabola goes with parable. Math/English connections. Fun.

I. Need. The. Serenity. Soundtrack. End of story. I am planning on marrying the guy that wrote all that music. I am in love.

My computer has gotten better about downloads lately. All of a sudden, I don't know why. It used to be that when for some reason the download speed slowed down (like if I tried to download two things at once, or opened a page with a lot of images or something), even if I removed the slowerdowner, it would stay slow. Now it will speed back up. Not fast, but back to normal. (Which is about 3.5 KB/sec. Pretty slow.)

I found bits of the Serenity soundtrack for download on Can't Stop the Signal, but they won't download. Sadness.
commotiocordis: Green on black, an animated depiction of a normal heart rhythm on an ECG monitor. (Default)
That english paper that I thought one page would be enough for? Nope. She told me to keep it and turn it in the next day with another page attached.

So, as usual, I wrote it the day after it was due at lunch.

Solo and Ensemble tomorrow today.

But first, the second part of the math test that I failed the first part of. Literally. Out of 5 multi-part problems, in all probably 10 parts, I got 3 of those right. And I don't really expect to do any better on the second part. Because for the first, I could at least use my calculator and not make any stupid math errors. This time, it's non-calculator, so if I say 2+3=8, I'm screwed.

December 2014

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