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Snowwomyn
Author: Alexandria (CrashCart9[at]Yahoo[dot]com)
Fandom: House, MD
Pairing: Cuddy/Cameron, with bits of House/Wilson
Rating:  PG-13 for one bad word.
Written: 12/21/05
Notes: For the “Make the Yuletide Gay” challenge on LiveJournal. The prompt was “snowman”, but I tweaked it a little. I also had to use the challenge title line in the story, it was begging me to.  I was so worried that I wouldn’t be able to hit 500 words, as in my head, this was only a drabble, but with a lot of crappy filling out, it made almost 700. The snowwomyn idea taken from James
Finn Garner’s “Politically Correct Holiday Stories”. Which I lost my copy of at school last week. So if anyone wants to buy me a Solstice present...
Summary: Cuddy and Cameron build a snowwomyn. And thoroughly confuse House.


House walked up to the doors of P.P.T.H. only to be stopped by a very... unusual view. And an accurately thrown snowball. He turned to the snow-covered lawn area next to the doors and walked closer to what appeared to be... No, he couldn’t be seeing that. It just wasn’t possible.

It was. Cuddy and Cameron were building a snowman. And acting like schoolgirls; all giggling and throwing snowballs. He walked up to them. “What the hell are you doing?”

“We’re building a snowwomyn!” Cameron said cheerfully. She beamed before turning back to the snow... creature that was beginning to take shape.

“You mean a snowman,” House said, raising an eyebrow and circling the thing.

He poked its base with his cane, only to have Cuddy smack him on the arm. “Patriarchal, snarky, old bastard. We’re making it, so it’s a snowwomyn. W-O-M-Y-N.”

House scoffed. “So now you’re rewriting the English language?” Cameron pelted him with the handful of snow she had been about to add to their creation. “And beating up on a cripple?”

“It’s good for hospital morale.” Cuddy rationalized.

“What, seeing the head of hospital, the woman who’s supposed to be mature and in charge, determining stuff and administrating things, frolicking in the snow with her special friend?”

Cameron had a shocked look on her face as she stepped around the mound of snow that was slowly looking more like a person. “How did you...”

House’s eyes widened. Those two? “I meant the snowwomyn.” He paused, looking from Cuddy to Cameron, and back again as he pondered this latest revelation. “Wow.”

“Yeah. Wow.” Lisa said, looping her arm around Cameron’s waist and smiling proudly.

“J-Date didn’t work out for you, so you decided to start taking my leftovers, Cuddy?”  House quipped, trying to pretend that he wasn’t completely caught off guard by the news.

Cuddy let out a short, mocking laugh. “In order for her to be ‘leftovers’, you would have had to actually date her first.”

“I did ‘actually date her’.” House swung his cane, “accidentally” knocking a chunk of the base of the snowwomyn off. Cameron kicked the cane out of his hand so it landed several feet away, and gave him a quirky little half-smirk.

“We went on one date.” Allison said rather patronizingly. “And you came straight home to Wilson.” House was taken aback by this. How did they know?

Cuddy, interpreting his expression correctly, jumped in. “It wasn’t hard to figure out. The only time you’ll take clinic hours without much of a fuss is when James has them scheduled at the same time. We’ve both called you before and had him pick up the phone. His office is practically gathering dust for all the time he spends in your department.” She smiled at Cameron and inclined her head slightly, inviting her to continue.

“You both disappeared an hour into the Thanksgiving benefit dinner, and when you came back, well, it was pretty evident what you had been doing. And on our ‘date’, you were wearing a tie. You don’t know how to tie them. That meant somebody had to have done it for you. I doubted that you’d drive all the way to Wilson’s house just to get him to help you get dressed, so he obviously was already over at your place.”

Allison knew they’d won. She gave House a teasing look right before she thoroughly kissed Lisa. When they broke away, Cuddy tilted her head and raised an eyebrow at his incredulous and still very confused expression. “We’re going to finish building this now,” she said, in a tone one would use with a small child who didn’t understand what was going on. “Your shift started 20 minutes ago. I suggest you get in there. Unless you want to bring Wilson and help us truly make the Yuletide gay.” Cameron chuckled at her lover’s choice of words.

House stared at them blankly. “Wilson’s Jewish,” he said lamely, simply in order to get in the last word, before fetching his cane and hobbling away.

Cameron and Cuddy just smiled and packed another handful of snow onto their snowwomyn.

Date: 2005-12-21 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] candlewriting.livejournal.com
Oh, I like that! I wish something like this would happen on the show...and it's all so true.
And your Icon makes me very very happy.

Date: 2005-12-22 04:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crashcart9.livejournal.com
I wish that too.
:P
~Alexandria

Date: 2005-12-21 08:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] syrenav.livejournal.com
That's great! I love how she called him out like that!

Date: 2005-12-21 11:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] riverflame.livejournal.com
This is AWESOME. Excellent bit of wacky fluff! I love it :D There's not enough femslash in Housefandom, kudos to you!

Date: 2005-12-22 04:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crashcart9.livejournal.com
There isn't enough femslash in House. *Glares at everyone who doesn't write it.*
Thanks.

Date: 2005-12-22 02:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ijemanja.livejournal.com
Aww! This is adorable. And I love that House is put off guard for once.

help us truly make the Yuletide gay
Yes, lets! Yay for Caddy fic!

Date: 2005-12-22 04:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crashcart9.livejournal.com
Yay, indeed.
:)

Date: 2005-12-22 03:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-heart-cameron.livejournal.com
Finally, a new Caddy!

I LOVE it. :: adds to memories ::

Date: 2005-12-22 04:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crashcart9.livejournal.com
Yeah, the CameronCuddy list was getting rather quiet. I was writing the answer to this post as a Lou/Annabeth story for West Wing (because I love Cheno and I specified at the beginning of the story that I recast Lou's part with Idina Menzel instead), but I realized that I know absolutely nothing about their characters, much less their interaction, as they're barely ever on screen together. (I may still finish it and post it, but it'll be so very similar to this one that it wouldn't be worth reading.)
And I love your icon!

Date: 2005-12-22 09:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-heart-cameron.livejournal.com
Thanks, I'm a big fan of your Caddies. I just wish you'd do a super long one one day lol, I think I would die

Date: 2005-12-23 01:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crashcart9.livejournal.com
I started one once. Not super long, but long for me, what I had so far was about 6 or 7 pages handwritten. But then I threw it away, as it sucked. I'm thinking of reviving it sometime and fixing it up, but I've got an even older Star Trek fic that I'm gonna have to do first.

Date: 2005-12-22 03:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anawreckslife.livejournal.com
*squee* Can I have your children?

Date: 2005-12-22 04:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crashcart9.livejournal.com
Of course!

Date: 2005-12-27 06:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tamianity.livejournal.com
You are my god. I love it! You wouldn't believe how much schoolgirl giggling went on whilst reading this fic!
You're the one that started me on CamCuddy. I read a drabble on ff.net, and was like 'Wow. Loz likey.'
Haha. Biiiig fan. Anyway, your head is gonna get big if I don't stop showering you with praise soon.
Loz

Date: 2005-12-28 09:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crashcart9.livejournal.com
Yay! I have a fan. *Squiggles* And another large Yay! for more CameronCuddy converts. I'm so happy that my originally tiny corner of the House fandom is branching out.
Thanks much!
~Alexandria

Date: 2006-04-23 05:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ss-momo.livejournal.com
omg! ive read this before! on fanfiction.net! i love it!

Date: 2006-04-23 04:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crashcart9.livejournal.com
Yeah, I tend to post my fics in both places, out of some kind of misguided loyalty to ff.net as the place where I read my first fic.

Thanks for the loving!

Date: 2006-06-19 06:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dominamia.livejournal.com
I love it.

Date: 2006-06-20 01:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crashcart9.livejournal.com
Thanks! This one was a lot of fun to write.

Date: 2006-06-20 04:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dominamia.livejournal.com
Yeah, I especially liked the "snowwomyn" thing...that is how I spell it as well! ;)

le sigh, now I am a cuddy/cameron and house/cameron fan....

I am never going to have a moment where I do not have naughty thoughts about Cameron

Date: 2006-06-20 12:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crashcart9.livejournal.com
I am never going to have a moment where I do not have naughty thoughts about Cameron

LOL. Now the question is: Is that such a bad thing? ;)

Date: 2006-06-20 02:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dominamia.livejournal.com
nope nope nope

Date: 2006-09-24 09:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neral-idazmi.livejournal.com
Yay:-)
Awesome piece of christmas fluff.

Date: 2006-09-25 05:08 am (UTC)

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