commotiocordis

Bio project from hell presentation was today. Went decently. But I came home, ate, slept (because I was up uber late last night waiting for one of my group members to email me the Powerpoint--which he never did, so I was up until 4 or so for nothing), went out for my mother's birthday, went to the gym, wasted time eating some more, and now have massive amounts of Spanish and AII homework to do (the former being re-learning some words for a quiz I've got to redo due to making sufficient stupid mistakes to get a 66% and some 17 pages of grammar work that I planned on starting earlier in the week but couldn't find the book for, and the former being 3 proposals for new projects when I have maybe one idea--something about a feminist perspective on birth, going into midwivery and such).

I'm not going to get it all done, this much is evident. To make up that quiz, I'm going to have to drive tomorrow (like I had to today because I missed the bus whilst trying to iron pants that I assumed wouldn't wrinkle up like the bitch they did) so I can stay after or do it during the very end of my first free hour between the bus and Spanish, which would then preclude me working on any of the other stuff then.

This bio project has killed this week for me--it's essentially all I've been doing in all of my free periods and every night at home, and now I'm really behind for everything that's due Friday. It's not like I couldn't conceivably get it done, but I'm so goddamned tired right now from being up late most every day this week for reasons unbeknownst to me (well, a lot because I've turned into a complete night eater, so I spend hours sabotaging all my weight loss efforts, but that's another story) that I really can't conceive of doing anything but going straight to bed.

I think I might have to blow off the Spanish grammar. I don't know really how he works if I don't have it the day it's due, but even if I get a zero, it's only about 15 points. I ace the next few vocabulary quizzes (like I should have done with Monday's--serious, dumbest mistakes ever. Wrote "hermano" instead of "hermoso", my "tonto" looked too much like "tento" and so was wrong--normally I'd fight that, because I know I knew the word, but even I admit that it's definitely an 'e' by every definition of the written letter--anyway, there was only maybe one word that I actually didn't know, and yet I pulled a 66%) and I'll make it up. Problem is that there aren't that many points in his class (we do mainly in-class stuff that never gets turned in--this is easily one of the highest valued assignments, probably because it's so bloody long), so it's gonna hurt me.

But no sleep hurts me more, and I'm not going to be able to beat this headache that I've been fighting off for the last hour or so (not a migraine, thank god) if I don't get to bed. I don't even have the ideas (save the one) for the AII project proposals, and hanging around awake isn't going to help that--I can make something up in the morning. I'll spend another 20 minutes on this Spanish, but I'm going to bed at 2 no matter what. *has decided*

Edit: And whut? Somehow this entry got backdated or timestamped from when I opened the edit window and not from when I hit post, because 20 minutes from 1:05 is definitely not 2am. Oddness.

Got the big bits of my AII project done, finally. LOL, naturally, the morning they're due. There are some questions on the personality survey bits that I left blank, because I was a bit uncomfortable answering them, so I'll have to ask the teacher if I've got to have them all answered or not. I think I've got until the end of the hour to finish it, so if she says yes, I can bs something for that. I would have done it already but I was trying to keep this thing honest, since it's actually supposed to be all introspective and helping me, and the selective honesty I applied to most questions ("What are some reasons that you may not have performed as well as you could have in school" being one of those) wouldn't really cut it. Things like the worst times of my life, etc. And ones that I just couldn't come up with an answer for, like the best times of my life one.

LOL, just looked through the binder and I've actually got a whole bunch of questions on this article (that I thought I finished back in. . . September or so) left to go. Those'll get thrown out sometime quickly tomorrow.

At least the papers are done. I'm a little worried that because I didn't exactly fulfill all the prescribed curricula -- the job shadowing, to be specific, as the contacts there never panned out (though I've found a new lead that I may be able to hook up for next semester; too late for the project, but fine for my personal enrichment/enjoyment), as that's one of the five major parts of the second (the portfolio) half of the project. I've done a lot of medical exploring in hospital settings (the lab with my intellectual!girlcrush Lara last year, the NICU this year) that I could write up as semi-job shadowing, but the documentation form requires the supervisor to sign and describe activities and such, which I obviously never got done.

I'm at that stage where I know I should be tired and I know I need to go to bed (the undoubtedly numerous instances of odd phrasing and--hopefully fixed--typos in aforementioned writings should attest to that), but I'm some two Ritalin (because they weren't the extended release kind, thus one covered this morning and one this evening) and one giant Diet Dr. Pepper (from around 6pm, when I finally got out of the endodontist's) past sleepy. I would be all of that plus one gym trip, but I couldn't find the goshdarned keys with the passes again. IH how they always manage to get lost (though I think this time it was actually my fault, as I had them last when I went on Wednesday). I didn't really have the time to go anyway, as seen by the fact that I'm still technically not done with my AII project, plus there was nothing good on TV, but the fact that I'm lol!stress gaining weight (only a tidge--less than a pound, but it's more the fact that I stopped losing it even though I should be, my suckarse metabolism and all) as we approach the holidays and finals (both major stressors, but the former probably more than the latter, actually) and the restarting of the birth control kicking in does not happy make me.

Even though it's not really possible to do it healthily, I really want to drop 5 pounds or so before Christmas. That playing the viola for mass thing's got me up in front of the entire congregation (plus all the fakey Catholics who need to give my family their seats, LOL), and I've got this sparkly red dress (two of them that are almost exactly the same, though one's long sleeved and one short, actually) that I've worn maybe twice that I'm thinking about wearing because it's an excuse to look pretty, you know? And I want to actually look good in it. Idk if it's anywhere close to fitting, but it's pretty and sparkly and I can wear my holiday fishnets with it and I'm damn sure going to try to fit into it.

Though if it were green, it'd win. Green works so much better with my hair. I really want a nice, dark green sweater, as I have none. The one I've been wearing lately (because it fits really well and was part of that bunch of free clothes I got from the rummage sale they were cleaning out from my volleyball court) is red, and though it looks nice, my hair sort of blends in. Not blends in, but doesn't stand out and look all pretty like it does with a good forest green.

LOL, digression. If my paper on how to become an emergency department physician reads anything like this, I'm in trouble. Back to the paper/portfolio-y thing. I want to take it back this weekend and pretty it up some more, which idk if I can do, as it's technically due today. The teacher said that we could keep it over the weekend in order to prepare our presentations take two (this time to the class--meaning my friend Alyssa, plus probably the kids in there for study hall, meaning a bunch of freshmen and Katie--during the final), but I don't know if prettification is allowed. Prettification, probably, I guess, but fixification, no? I'm going to do it anyway. I had to return some of my book sources (and some I just cited from memory of pertinent memoirs and such I've read over the years, shh), so I've got literally no page numbers in my citations. Normally I'd just make them up, which I might still do, as a lot of it was general information either mentioned a few times or carried in attitude, but I'd like to at least get the chance to try and flip through and find where they referred to what I need.

I can even realize that I'm making no sense.

AHH! Spanish quiz to make up (from Monday, when I did/didn't have the medical terminology final in the morning and missed class) sometime today. Meaning the tail end of my first open hour, as I don't want to stay after and that's the only time I can catch him during the day when neither of us have class. (In fact, I was thinking about driving today so I could leave when I was done with economics and most definitely not stay after, but my temporary parking pass that I got for Monday's field trip to present my then-non-existent AII project to 5th graders ran out, meaning I'd have to park the mile or so down the road and hike in the near-freezing weather. Plus I'm getting towards being out of gasoline and have no cashy money for more. And it's prolly not a good idea to be driving too much in the slippreryish dark in less than 3.5 hours.) Meaning I've got to learn those words between now and said tail end of my open hour before Spanish. Thus cutting down on the time I've got to write answers to questions about the article I thought I finished. *headdesk* The bed is thus not happening ATM.