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Oct. 22nd, 2007 01:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
commotiocordisLOL, it's like the evil friends meme, except it's mostly a few bits about people you don't know because I don't have enough LJ friends to make it difficult with you by yourselves.
I hate how I was really jealous when you talked about how much fun you had together.
I heard that you're dating one of our mutual friends. You're so effeminate that if you're not gay, does that make her a lesbian?
I don't know why you started talking to me. As far as we knew, we had virtually nothing in common when we friended each other (though it's actually quite a bit more than we expected, I think) and it really bugs me how you do drugs and then talk about it like you can't get in trouble, especially when I know that I'd get caught the first time. And yet sometimes, when it seems like nobody else is listening, you'll throw me a line, which means a lot.
I still can't decide if you know when you've hurt me or not. Some part of me wants it to always be an accident, because that would justify why I'm still trying to be nice to you.
Differing interests have pulled us apart, but IL how you -- a conservative evangelical Christian -- and me -- . . . not -- have managed to stay, if not close, then cool over all these years.
When I first heard your story, I had my biggest relapse in years--biggest not in just that night, but in that that was ages ago and I haven't stopped. I think I vaguely mentioned it once, but I haven't told because--even though I know we both know it's not your fault--I don't want to make you feel bad even a little.
I want to know what it's like to have your job, but I know that I'd never be satisfied because it's not the top. I also share some of your insecurities, though I don't really feel like we're close enough for me to clue you in.
I really wonder what happened to you. You got all band-obsessed and then dropped off of the world. I considered you a friend, yet you've never dropped me a line since. I didn't dig the new music-crazed you as much, but somedays I wonder what you're up to.
You were one of my first online friends. I wonder if you've realized that I lied to you back then (or more, omitted details). I'm always wondering if/paranoid that you will and then stop talking to me.
We called each other internet twins. Then without so much as a by-your-leave, you dropped me from your life. I was pissed.
First, I felt bad because after a while, I and someone I sort of met through you became closer than you and I were. I think it's because she and I talked about deep things while you and I mostly just goofed around. Now, though, we're not even doing that. I know it's mostly my not being online, plus your flist has expanded like whoa, but I miss you.
I forgot you were on my flist. I know you forgot I was on yours, because got all creepy over one of my friends (who was the only reason I friended you) after she tried to dump you. That was odd.
Ihate love can't decide how I feel about you most of the time. You're horrible for me and terrific for me all at the same time in a bazillion different ways, but above all, you make me happy, which is why we've stayed together as strong as we are for so long. I just know I'm going to miss you like crazy after this year. ILU.
Sometimes it takes me 30 minutes to write a simple comment back to you because I'm trying to make it perfect. I think I'm subconsciously terrified that I'm going to say something or not say something, etc, and piss you off, and it kills me. Because you're one of my best friends period at this point, and I couldn't bear to lose you.
You don't update your LJ enough! I'm probably going to end up at the same school you're at, so I'd like to hear how you're doing other than through your mother. We seem to get really close when we have classes together and then not say a word the other years, which I dislike. People have been mixing us up since elementary school, I'd like to keep us close enough that they will still do that. (Though, I suppose, it worked better before I started darkening my hair, LOL.)
Our biggest real connection centers around fandom. That doesn't make our friendship any less real. IL your writing and I'm still up for doing that screenplay NaNo with you if you want (though that'd be hard to work out--let's just say any writing, yeah?). We need to do something together, because I'm afraid you're going to forget me!
I hate how I was really jealous when you talked about how much fun you had together.
I heard that you're dating one of our mutual friends. You're so effeminate that if you're not gay, does that make her a lesbian?
I don't know why you started talking to me. As far as we knew, we had virtually nothing in common when we friended each other (though it's actually quite a bit more than we expected, I think) and it really bugs me how you do drugs and then talk about it like you can't get in trouble, especially when I know that I'd get caught the first time. And yet sometimes, when it seems like nobody else is listening, you'll throw me a line, which means a lot.
I still can't decide if you know when you've hurt me or not. Some part of me wants it to always be an accident, because that would justify why I'm still trying to be nice to you.
Differing interests have pulled us apart, but IL how you -- a conservative evangelical Christian -- and me -- . . . not -- have managed to stay, if not close, then cool over all these years.
When I first heard your story, I had my biggest relapse in years--biggest not in just that night, but in that that was ages ago and I haven't stopped. I think I vaguely mentioned it once, but I haven't told because--even though I know we both know it's not your fault--I don't want to make you feel bad even a little.
I want to know what it's like to have your job, but I know that I'd never be satisfied because it's not the top. I also share some of your insecurities, though I don't really feel like we're close enough for me to clue you in.
I really wonder what happened to you. You got all band-obsessed and then dropped off of the world. I considered you a friend, yet you've never dropped me a line since. I didn't dig the new music-crazed you as much, but somedays I wonder what you're up to.
You were one of my first online friends. I wonder if you've realized that I lied to you back then (or more, omitted details). I'm always wondering if/paranoid that you will and then stop talking to me.
We called each other internet twins. Then without so much as a by-your-leave, you dropped me from your life. I was pissed.
First, I felt bad because after a while, I and someone I sort of met through you became closer than you and I were. I think it's because she and I talked about deep things while you and I mostly just goofed around. Now, though, we're not even doing that. I know it's mostly my not being online, plus your flist has expanded like whoa, but I miss you.
I forgot you were on my flist. I know you forgot I was on yours, because got all creepy over one of my friends (who was the only reason I friended you) after she tried to dump you. That was odd.
I
Sometimes it takes me 30 minutes to write a simple comment back to you because I'm trying to make it perfect. I think I'm subconsciously terrified that I'm going to say something or not say something, etc, and piss you off, and it kills me. Because you're one of my best friends period at this point, and I couldn't bear to lose you.
You don't update your LJ enough! I'm probably going to end up at the same school you're at, so I'd like to hear how you're doing other than through your mother. We seem to get really close when we have classes together and then not say a word the other years, which I dislike. People have been mixing us up since elementary school, I'd like to keep us close enough that they will still do that. (Though, I suppose, it worked better before I started darkening my hair, LOL.)
Our biggest real connection centers around fandom. That doesn't make our friendship any less real. IL your writing and I'm still up for doing that screenplay NaNo with you if you want (though that'd be hard to work out--let's just say any writing, yeah?). We need to do something together, because I'm afraid you're going to forget me!
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no subject
Date: 2007-10-22 06:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-22 07:04 am (UTC)But AHH, that's one person down!one1! LOL, now everybody else can just play process of elimination. Thanks a lot, LOL!
no subject
Date: 2007-10-22 07:25 am (UTC)But yeah totally. I thought it was funnyslashironic that you still had ME on your friends list after she duped me. I just figured "Well she never did anything to me, and I did give her that hilarious pilsbury dough boy sticker.."
I did give you one of those, right? I'm not sure what that has to do with anything, it just entered my mind because I think it was the one time that we met in person.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-22 12:43 pm (UTC)Yeah? That makes more sense, then. I don't think she realized that, and I apologize on her behalf.
I did give you one of those, right?
You did. It made me laugh. And lol, there's a story about that. It stayed in my bag for a while. Until I had to disown it. Because it fell out. At church. There was all kinds of conundrum happening there. I was like "Do I try to slide it back over to me before anybody notices and risk getting caught with it, or do I just ignore it and pretend it's not mine?" I think the only other person it could have feasibly belonged to from where it was was either my mother or a nun, though, so the latter, which I did, probably wasn't the best choice.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-22 10:21 am (UTC)But, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say, bb - if I'm #6, I am sorry that I caused that. But I also know that we can't always control our triggers, and I mean, certain movies make me all slasthtastic (and not the fun kind).
AND, Y'KNOW, THIS MADE ME THINK. Igf I have ever pissed you off or hurt you in any way, I don't know why, but I would like to know. I just feel like you and I can talk about anything. Probably for months, given our history. And I just would feel so bad. Obviously I'd feel bad for hurting anyone, but... something's different about you. It'd be like, the end of the world almost?
ilusomuch.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-22 10:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-22 12:58 pm (UTC)IH how that one made it sound like I don't like her, in retrospect. I do. I should fix that.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-23 04:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-23 04:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-24 12:18 am (UTC)It would be awesome if you came here. You should look into the Micah program. Are you still planning on doing Pre-Law and Pre-Med?
no subject
Date: 2007-10-24 04:38 am (UTC)I do that too. By the time you get around to it, you're afraid that it's been too long. No worries. I pick up conversations with people after not talking for 2 years with no problems.
I plan on looking into the Micah thing if I ever get around to actually applying, LOL. Pre-Med's the official one as of now, though I'm going to make sure I get a good background in law type things as well, because I've pretty much decided that I'm going to do medicine first, but if that doesn't work out, I want to be able to try law.
And you are social work still? I just heard on NPR today (I think; it might have been 88.1) that the President/Dean/Whatever of SLU said absolutely not on the moving the social work school to Wash U thing and that they're majorly reinvesting in the program. Have you been following that much? This was the first I've heard of it. Looks to be good for you, though, if they're going to ramp up their social work funding (if it goes through in time, of course).
And IL how my anonymous evil friends meme is so easy for everybody. It's not like the first person's I saw,