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Jul. 13th, 2007 03:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
commotiocordisI was in Goodwill today, looking for some yarn, since I've been knitting a lot lately.
And there was a woman in there. And her husband/boyfriend/somebody. And their child.
And the father was yelling at the mother. Well, perhaps yelling isn't the right word. Right sentiment, if not right volume.
It was horrible. It was emotional abuse, easily, and, idk, I just knew that that wasn't the end of it.
That it wasn't a one time fight.
That he probably hits her.
I couldn't repeat half of what he said; it was 8 hours ago and I've forgotten/blocked it out/whatever. He was yelling and cursing at her for every little thing: to shut their child up, because she knocked a toy off the shelf, because she wanted to buy something that he didn't agree with. He was at the very least, completely controlling; there was talk about how it didn't matter what she thought they needed because all the money was his and such.
What I'm saying doesn't seem horridly conclusive, I guess, but somehow. . . idk, my dad and brother commented on it too, so it wasn't just me.
And I wanted to watch out of the corner of my eye (because I concluded after 3 minutes in the store that there was no yarn) and call the police or something the second he put a hand on her, even before. I've no idea what I would have said, whether they would have come (at the very least, he was cursing in front of a bunch of children, most not his own, so that should be worth something, perhaps?), but then I realized that that would both do no good and probably get her into trouble at home.
I wanted to help, I wanted to fucking do something, even to just shut him up from cursing in front of the children in the store, but I didn't know how. I didn't know anything that I could do that wouldn't just make things worse.
I just felt so. . . unbelievably helpless, you know?
And there was a woman in there. And her husband/boyfriend/somebody. And their child.
And the father was yelling at the mother. Well, perhaps yelling isn't the right word. Right sentiment, if not right volume.
It was horrible. It was emotional abuse, easily, and, idk, I just knew that that wasn't the end of it.
That it wasn't a one time fight.
That he probably hits her.
I couldn't repeat half of what he said; it was 8 hours ago and I've forgotten/blocked it out/whatever. He was yelling and cursing at her for every little thing: to shut their child up, because she knocked a toy off the shelf, because she wanted to buy something that he didn't agree with. He was at the very least, completely controlling; there was talk about how it didn't matter what she thought they needed because all the money was his and such.
What I'm saying doesn't seem horridly conclusive, I guess, but somehow. . . idk, my dad and brother commented on it too, so it wasn't just me.
And I wanted to watch out of the corner of my eye (because I concluded after 3 minutes in the store that there was no yarn) and call the police or something the second he put a hand on her, even before. I've no idea what I would have said, whether they would have come (at the very least, he was cursing in front of a bunch of children, most not his own, so that should be worth something, perhaps?), but then I realized that that would both do no good and probably get her into trouble at home.
I wanted to help, I wanted to fucking do something, even to just shut him up from cursing in front of the children in the store, but I didn't know how. I didn't know anything that I could do that wouldn't just make things worse.
I just felt so. . . unbelievably helpless, you know?
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Date: 2007-07-13 11:07 am (UTC)And I ttly know what you mean with the helpless thing. There have been times when we've been driving, and passed a man and woman fighting on the side of the road, and all I've wanted to do was drive back and ask if she was okay. But mum never has (not that she didn't want to) either because she couldn't stop or turn around on the road, or because it's just been me and her and she didn't want to put us in danger. The most recent incident we saw was a woman trying to walk away from a house, and a man literally dragging her back. The police station was about 200m around the corner, in the direction she was heading, too. I think next time I see something like that I'm going to call the police.
And even the whole belittling thing, even though it's not illegal, gets my blood boiling. Because no one should get away with talking like that to another human being. And I know how much I hate being belittled by someone, let alone in front of other people (and my own children, for christ's sake), so I really feel for the victims. And the children. I feel sorry for those children, and their spouses. Particularly the future wives or girlfriends of the boys.