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Movie reviews! Part 1: Green Hornet. This one doesn't come out until mid January, idk why the screening was this early, but that's good because I can give you fair warning.


If someone offers to pay you to go see "Green Hornet", take their money and sit through mocking it, like we did.

Otherwise, unless you’re a male under the age of 15, skip it.

It had its cute moments, but it was trying too hard. No chemistry between any of the leads (so both the romance and the bromance jokes fell on their faces), a main villain who can’t seem to pick an accent, a wooden performance by Commander Adama Edward James Olmos, and it just wasn’t worth seeing. The car was hot, and there were some explosions, and a bunch of crotch hits, and a scene of brawling between Hornet and Kato that was funny for about 15 seconds yet went on for what felt like 5 minutes, and basically if it weren’t for the violence and language (all generic PG-13 style EXCEPT FOR THE BIT WHERE THE GUY GETS SHIT JAMMED IN HIS EYES SO COVER YOUR EYES FOR THE ENTIRE LAST BATTLE SCENE IN THE OFFICES IF YOU ENJOY NOT HAVING NIGHTMARES), I’d exclusively recommend this to the 10-15 age set.

We wanted to just skip out and sneak into Tron instead, but sat through the whole thing to be able to rag on it in its entirety also, the screen showing Tron was right in front of the ticket place so we’d have gotten noticed.

TL;DR: Not horrible enough to walk out of, but don’t ever waste your money. Low-brow comedy that mostly didn’t work.

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Movie Reviews! Part 2: TRON: Legacy

So, then we *did* go see Tron, and holy shit.

And I’d never seen a 3d movie before so this was BIG NEWS.  I’d already decided I liked the movie (the music!  the pretty lights!  how the main guy kinda looks like Jensen Ackles!  the music!) before Olivia Wilde came on (which was, ngl, the entire reason I wanted to see it) but then she did, and I recognized her by her shoulders when she was wearing that mask and maybe that was kinda creepy but idegaf.

So, I’ll sum up my feelings about Olivia Wilde that movie with a quote.

Me, loudly, to the whole theater, when Olivia first started Kicking Some Ass: “fuuuuuuuuuuck. me.”

Okay, so thematically it alternated between sketchy metaphor and really heavy handed symbolism (those priesty robes, JEFF BRIDGES?  possibly too much) but it was really cool.  It seemed like something you could watch non-3d and not really miss out on anything, unlike Avatar.  I loved how both the music and the graphics managed to be ultramodern and really 80s at the same time, and I liked Ziggy Stardust Zeus (he who wields the “cree-py gui-tar”), and I really really really love how I’m not sure exactly what happened at the end (I think Quorra was on the disk around his neck and not physically there, sixgunsound maybe thinks she was there, idk). 

And back to the main point of the entire movie, HOW ARE YOU SO AMAZING, OLIVIA WILDE?  Seriously, if I ever try to tell anyone I’m straight (ha) just say her name, because goddamn.  She was so *cute* in this!  “Do you know Jules Verne?  What is he like?!” and the face burrowing into Sam’s jacket at the end alsdjfasldkjfalsdkj

Will most likely buy on DVD.  Also, Daft Punk soundtrack?  Get on my mp3 player now, because that’s becoming my life’s background music.