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Feb. 4th, 2007 12:31 amYou know that *shivergaspwow* thing you do when you read a really powerful fic? Yeah. That makes my day better. As it kinda sucked.
I definitely managed to find out that I'd been replaced in our quartet. Umm, WTF? Here's me, fiddling with my viola at home and waiting for the other quartet people to tell me when our next practice was, and they're off practicing without me.
Yeah. So, I'm really pissed off at all three of the other members right now. Austin, the cello, well, he's a pansy-arsed coward. He's the one whose decision it undoubtedly was as he's somewhat in charge of the quartet, unofficially, as his house was where we had some of the practices.
And, erm, yeah, so Austin? If you've got a fucking problem with me, with how I'm playing, whatever, you sure as hell better take it to me. You don't just conveniently not tell me when the practices are and get somebody else to play my part at the gigs.
But yeah. Found out because Anne (the first violin who's evidently moved to play viola now) kinda just told me. So, pissed off at her for being an insensitive bitch. Right before fifth hour, after I had been trying to be nice to her by inviting her to this theatre show that our class is putting on (because she had invited me to some trivia night, I figured I should reciprocate) we start talking about orchestra (because she couldn't go because she had an orchestra thing at the time of our performance) and she sort of just jumps from me mentioning one of the kids that subbed for Alyssa at the last show I was in to "I replaced you." That's literally how she said it. Of course, I've got no idea what she's talking about, so I'm like "Err, huh?" and she's all "In quartet. I'm playing the viola part now since you're not in it." Me: "Since when?" But the bell had rung a little before that, meaning I had like 15 seconds to get to class, so I was just like "Yeah, I can't fucking deal with this right now," and just went to chemistry.
Yeah, so I was angry. Kinda ruined the rest of my fucking day.
I ended up finding out that they had a gig this evening, both from somebody who had heard it from Alyssa and my sister when she came back from her choir performance that happened to be right after the quartet. So yeah. Nice. Were they expecting that I wouldn't find out? That I'd just forget it? That I'd think "Hmm, I know I used to do something on Fridays and occasional evenings/whenever gigs were. I wonder what that was? Oh well."
And then chem sucked, because we were doing this lab and the computer pH meter things were horrid and weren't giving us the results they were supposed to. So everybody else finished the lab in like 20 minutes, and my group was working until the bell at the end of class. And the one kid that has kinda tried to join my group in everything in there lately was being all annoying and I was like "Umm, can't you see that I'm really pissed off and want to stew in my anger right now? I'm really not in the mood for you screwing up this experiment more than it already is." Because he didn't know what he was doing.
But evidently Anne told Austin at lunch to watch out for me, because, to go into like triple hearsay here, I'm "out for his head." I'm like, no, that isn't really my style. I will come at you when you least expect it. I will be rather civil to you while I'm doing it, but you'll feel like a worthless specimen of humanity when I'm done that doesn't deserve the oxygen in the air.
That or I'll be too passive-aggressive and not mention it at all and just stew in my miserableness. But the latter is usually only with people that I'm close to (Katie: "What's wrong?" Me: "Well, you really pissed me off when you [did whatever]. Nothing."), and as I never really liked Austin, I think it will probably be the former.
And then in 7th hour (being the last hour of the day) my english teacher kinda redeemed herself a little in my eyes by letting me stay in her room during the pep rally (because I was not in the mood for loudness and lots of people. I almost always come out of there either very close to/having a panic attack or having my head split open by migrany pains of doom, so I was all happy about the not having to go). But then Anne decided to stay too, and I was like "Yeah, thanks." I didn't mention any of the quartet stuff because I want to lull her into a false sense of security before I strike. Yeah, or not really. Though that's what I'm planning on doing (because I'm evil and horrible and can use my mad cross-examining skills to talk at people until they cry), I really just didn't mention it because I was so pissed off that if I thought about it I think I would have cried. And so I was trying to talk to Rachel, who was also staying in, but we were talking about science fiction for some reason--oh, it was because Anne brought up the fact that she thought Star Trek was on at that time--which is something Anne likes, so she kept trying to insert herself into our conversation, and I was all grr.
Thing is, though, I know Austin'skinda an asshole. And Anne kinda has a thing for Austin, so if he told her not to say anything to me, she probably wouldn't. And I sort of doubt that she meant to hurt me by telling me that she took my spot (though it wasn't the telling that hurt so much as the doing and then the doing and not telling) because she doesn't think before she says things. Which results in her saying hurtful things a lot, which, come to think of it, might not be all that inadvertent, looking at the frequency with which she does so to me.
But Alyssa? Yeah. Thought she was my friend. I think that--after the fact that I'm out of the quartet, meaning I've now got no viola-playing going on besides whatever I fool around with at home (because, which I'm also still really angry about, nobody told me about the auditions for orchestra for next year being even earlier than last year's, meaning that I missed them and as such will not be in orchestra next year when I had wanted to only drop it for a year to take this dumb history that I needed to have, not quit completely)--that's the bit that's pissing me off the most.
So, in conclusion. The three questions presented by this entry: Why do people suck? Why has my life been crappy lately? Why do people stab you in the fucking back?
*needs cuddling*
Edit: Another question. Why does my mood theme suck? Some icons just don't show up. Such as 'pissed off', which is one that I use quite often. Odd.
I definitely managed to find out that I'd been replaced in our quartet. Umm, WTF? Here's me, fiddling with my viola at home and waiting for the other quartet people to tell me when our next practice was, and they're off practicing without me.
Yeah. So, I'm really pissed off at all three of the other members right now. Austin, the cello, well, he's a pansy-arsed coward. He's the one whose decision it undoubtedly was as he's somewhat in charge of the quartet, unofficially, as his house was where we had some of the practices.
And, erm, yeah, so Austin? If you've got a fucking problem with me, with how I'm playing, whatever, you sure as hell better take it to me. You don't just conveniently not tell me when the practices are and get somebody else to play my part at the gigs.
But yeah. Found out because Anne (the first violin who's evidently moved to play viola now) kinda just told me. So, pissed off at her for being an insensitive bitch. Right before fifth hour, after I had been trying to be nice to her by inviting her to this theatre show that our class is putting on (because she had invited me to some trivia night, I figured I should reciprocate) we start talking about orchestra (because she couldn't go because she had an orchestra thing at the time of our performance) and she sort of just jumps from me mentioning one of the kids that subbed for Alyssa at the last show I was in to "I replaced you." That's literally how she said it. Of course, I've got no idea what she's talking about, so I'm like "Err, huh?" and she's all "In quartet. I'm playing the viola part now since you're not in it." Me: "Since when?" But the bell had rung a little before that, meaning I had like 15 seconds to get to class, so I was just like "Yeah, I can't fucking deal with this right now," and just went to chemistry.
Yeah, so I was angry. Kinda ruined the rest of my fucking day.
I ended up finding out that they had a gig this evening, both from somebody who had heard it from Alyssa and my sister when she came back from her choir performance that happened to be right after the quartet. So yeah. Nice. Were they expecting that I wouldn't find out? That I'd just forget it? That I'd think "Hmm, I know I used to do something on Fridays and occasional evenings/whenever gigs were. I wonder what that was? Oh well."
And then chem sucked, because we were doing this lab and the computer pH meter things were horrid and weren't giving us the results they were supposed to. So everybody else finished the lab in like 20 minutes, and my group was working until the bell at the end of class. And the one kid that has kinda tried to join my group in everything in there lately was being all annoying and I was like "Umm, can't you see that I'm really pissed off and want to stew in my anger right now? I'm really not in the mood for you screwing up this experiment more than it already is." Because he didn't know what he was doing.
But evidently Anne told Austin at lunch to watch out for me, because, to go into like triple hearsay here, I'm "out for his head." I'm like, no, that isn't really my style. I will come at you when you least expect it. I will be rather civil to you while I'm doing it, but you'll feel like a worthless specimen of humanity when I'm done that doesn't deserve the oxygen in the air.
That or I'll be too passive-aggressive and not mention it at all and just stew in my miserableness. But the latter is usually only with people that I'm close to (Katie: "What's wrong?" Me: "
And then in 7th hour (being the last hour of the day) my english teacher kinda redeemed herself a little in my eyes by letting me stay in her room during the pep rally (because I was not in the mood for loudness and lots of people. I almost always come out of there either very close to/having a panic attack or having my head split open by migrany pains of doom, so I was all happy about the not having to go). But then Anne decided to stay too, and I was like "Yeah, thanks." I didn't mention any of the quartet stuff because I want to lull her into a false sense of security before I strike. Yeah, or not really. Though that's what I'm planning on doing (because I'm evil and horrible and can use my mad cross-examining skills to talk at people until they cry), I really just didn't mention it because I was so pissed off that if I thought about it I think I would have cried. And so I was trying to talk to Rachel, who was also staying in, but we were talking about science fiction for some reason--oh, it was because Anne brought up the fact that she thought Star Trek was on at that time--which is something Anne likes, so she kept trying to insert herself into our conversation, and I was all grr.
Thing is, though, I know Austin's
But Alyssa? Yeah. Thought she was my friend. I think that--after the fact that I'm out of the quartet, meaning I've now got no viola-playing going on besides whatever I fool around with at home (because, which I'm also still really angry about, nobody told me about the auditions for orchestra for next year being even earlier than last year's, meaning that I missed them and as such will not be in orchestra next year when I had wanted to only drop it for a year to take this dumb history that I needed to have, not quit completely)--that's the bit that's pissing me off the most.
So, in conclusion. The three questions presented by this entry: Why do people suck? Why has my life been crappy lately? Why do people stab you in the fucking back?
*needs cuddling*
Edit: Another question. Why does my mood theme suck? Some icons just don't show up. Such as 'pissed off', which is one that I use quite often. Odd.
