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Jul. 10th, 2009 05:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
commotiocordisDear Torchwood.
Fuck. You.
Seriously. I've got places to go and do orchestral things tomorrow, so I put on some of my makeup the night before as I'm wont to do so I don't have to rush totally in the morning, and now it's undoubtedly all over my face.
I don't know the last time I cried this hard at a TV show. I suppose I should have expected it, seeing as how the third audio drama was all Janto-tastic and emotional, and how the Children of Earth was pretty darn Janto-tastic too, and especially with the couple of mentions of how Jack's going to just go on without him after he dies of old age (the last which I particularly noticed Ianto put in there rather vehemently in CoE) but I deluded myself into believing that that was just because Gwen and Rhys are boring because they've been married for a while and we don't have the Tosh/Owen UST, so just by what's left, we'd get more of the good stuff.
But I mean, "You said you would fight." "I take it back, alright? I take it all back; just not him!" broke my heart. Broke it into little tiny pieces. There was some indignation when Jack didn't say "I love you" back, because who gives a fuck if saying it seems like you're accepting that he's going to die, just in case he does, you don't want poor Ianto worrying
And plus? What's with Leo McGarry (the name I've given to his doppelganger that works with the 456 stuff) getting to survive, according to the Next Time preview? NO THANKS, SIR.
I have decided that the alien that created the Risen Mitten has three hands in actuality and the third glove is going to fall through the rift any minute and this one Jack actually can use and the connection is unbreaking a la "They Keep Killing Suzie" but all it does is make it so he can actually die eventually, thus facilitating the death of the Face of Boe whilst restoring Ianto to a normal lifespan where they live happily and together ever after. This is now canon, take it as such.
I'm like. . . miserable now. Seriously. I've got to be up to do some orchestra thing I got asked to play in that's almost an hour away (an hour if you count that I'll get lost at least 6 times) in maybe 3 hours, and I kind of just want to watch it again and cry some more. Blame it on the period that I'm a couple of hours into. Miserable, I say. Reminds me of this bit from a Bones episode I watched this evening, "The Princess and the Pear":
Hodgins: What about me? My girlfriend and I broke up -- I gotta see her at work every day.
Fisher: Well, obviously it hasn't blackened your soul like it has mine.
Hodgins: There was some light charring.
Fisher: I'm dead inside.
Hodgins: Okay! You win. Happy?
Fisher: Not that I can ever remember.
I get too involved with fictional characters, LOL. Wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't been happily deluding myself that all the gay was actually going to be synonymous with happy and not A HARBINGER OF DOOOOOM.
On a slightly more coherent note (though I am watching it again atm, so the tears are obstructing the screen a bit) I really would have preferred if it had been Gwen comforting the freshly resurrected Jack next to Ianto rather than the other way around, like it ended up looking. That would have been much more fitting with Jack's 51st century ideas of sexuality and gender roles, I think--he doesn't need to play the macho man when his whole world just crashed around him, and yet he did by holding in his emotion to hug Gwen.
Director!Alexandria time (thanks, years of analyzing/directing stuff in theatre). I would have reshot that as such: Jack pops back, and there's a moment of disorientation on his face, like the usual gasplookaround thing, but this time the sound is noticeably closer to a sob (as that was the last thing he was doing--normally, when he's been shot or whatever, gasping is appropriate, but this was a calmish death, physically). There's a moment when his eyes are hopeful, because they're evidently someplace else and that could mean that rescue came in time, but no, then he realizes that those are body bags and he sees Gwen's shoulders shaking over the bag next to him and he closes his eyes for just a second too long and you can tell that there's a part of him that just hurts so much that he'd rather go back to being dead until this was all over with (because as many times as death happens around him, when it's somebody you really love and especially when it's more or less your fault, it never gets easier). He starts crying again before opening his eyes, but he does, and moves over to hold Ianto in his arms again in the same vigil of tragedy that was interrupted by his own death (possibly multiple times as he was reinfected and killed again until they got them out--I'm intrigued by the lack of consistency with the death-resurrection delay). Gwen's on his right (closer to Ianto's lower body) and puts her arm around Jack and there's a few seconds of that, the two crying together over Ianto, but then, face still wet with tears, Gwen strokes Ianto's face with her right hand before looking to Jack and whispering "The end is where we start from." Jack pulls his eyes from his lover's face reluctantly and with effort to meet Gwen's, and we see a steely fury in her eyes under the sorrow. We pan back from the faces, and her right hand has moved to her stomach, and Jack's left still under Ianto's head, cradling him against his body, his own right moves to cover Gwen's over her child, symbolizing the future and the fighting and how he knows he needs to go on, blah blah, and then it pulls out to the whole room full of body bags to show that it's still going to be a bitch of a ride.
This way, it gives Gwen a chance to be the strong one, commensurate with her status as now almost tied for first chair in Torchwood, as it's been seeming. Gwen's one line is to make it even more explicitly a nice mirror to the end of series two, when Jack's like "Now, we carry on" and Gwen's all teary and "I don't think I can, not after this," but Jack says "You can. We all can. The end is where we start from."
I really wish they had done it my way, now that I'm hashing it all out. The symmetry, look at the symmetry!
Of course, Gwen's despondent "There's nothing we can do" in the real one leads well into the tone of the 5th part, going by her end of days (LOL) video from the teaser where she mentions how she understands that sometimes, looking at Earth, the Doctor's got to turn his head away in shame. So to keep with that and not have the whole leading-in-to-fight-in-Ianto's-name tone at the end, just do the same little pullback to all the bodies but keep it Gwen hugging the more-despondent Jack.
Sincerely,
Alexandria
Now I am for serious going to bed. As my alarm goes off in two hours. Fuck me. Maybe I'll make it three hours and just shower really fast, though that's all but impossible since I reallyquick henna'd just the top of my head since it'd been forever--actually more than 6 months, I think--since last time and though it blended and tapered really well from the lighter several inches of roots to the dark red length and looked pretty darn natural, I figured why not because I had tons of energy after getting back from the gym at, you know, 12:40. Dyed hair, watched a West Wing with Kaci, and then watched Torchwood. And then came these last fourteen hundred words of reaction and my not being in the mood to sleep even though I'm so tired my fingers are failing at wordtyping.
Blech. Plus, this orchestra thing means get there at 10 (leave at 9), be there until 5. Seriously? Seriously? I'm going to have to steal a laptop (as mine still has the screen issues) from one of the familia, because there's no way on earth that I can be there that long and still be sane at the end of it, much less awake if I've got nothing to do.
Fuck. You.
Seriously. I've got places to go and do orchestral things tomorrow, so I put on some of my makeup the night before as I'm wont to do so I don't have to rush totally in the morning, and now it's undoubtedly all over my face.
I don't know the last time I cried this hard at a TV show. I suppose I should have expected it, seeing as how the third audio drama was all Janto-tastic and emotional, and how the Children of Earth was pretty darn Janto-tastic too, and especially with the couple of mentions of how Jack's going to just go on without him after he dies of old age (the last which I particularly noticed Ianto put in there rather vehemently in CoE) but I deluded myself into believing that that was just because Gwen and Rhys are boring because they've been married for a while and we don't have the Tosh/Owen UST, so just by what's left, we'd get more of the good stuff.
But I mean, "You said you would fight." "I take it back, alright? I take it all back; just not him!" broke my heart. Broke it into little tiny pieces. There was some indignation when Jack didn't say "I love you" back, because who gives a fuck if saying it seems like you're accepting that he's going to die, just in case he does, you don't want poor Ianto worrying
And plus? What's with Leo McGarry (the name I've given to his doppelganger that works with the 456 stuff) getting to survive, according to the Next Time preview? NO THANKS, SIR.
I have decided that the alien that created the Risen Mitten has three hands in actuality and the third glove is going to fall through the rift any minute and this one Jack actually can use and the connection is unbreaking a la "They Keep Killing Suzie" but all it does is make it so he can actually die eventually, thus facilitating the death of the Face of Boe whilst restoring Ianto to a normal lifespan where they live happily and together ever after. This is now canon, take it as such.
I'm like. . . miserable now. Seriously. I've got to be up to do some orchestra thing I got asked to play in that's almost an hour away (an hour if you count that I'll get lost at least 6 times) in maybe 3 hours, and I kind of just want to watch it again and cry some more. Blame it on the period that I'm a couple of hours into. Miserable, I say. Reminds me of this bit from a Bones episode I watched this evening, "The Princess and the Pear":
Hodgins: What about me? My girlfriend and I broke up -- I gotta see her at work every day.
Fisher: Well, obviously it hasn't blackened your soul like it has mine.
Hodgins: There was some light charring.
Fisher: I'm dead inside.
Hodgins: Okay! You win. Happy?
Fisher: Not that I can ever remember.
I get too involved with fictional characters, LOL. Wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't been happily deluding myself that all the gay was actually going to be synonymous with happy and not A HARBINGER OF DOOOOOM.
On a slightly more coherent note (though I am watching it again atm, so the tears are obstructing the screen a bit) I really would have preferred if it had been Gwen comforting the freshly resurrected Jack next to Ianto rather than the other way around, like it ended up looking. That would have been much more fitting with Jack's 51st century ideas of sexuality and gender roles, I think--he doesn't need to play the macho man when his whole world just crashed around him, and yet he did by holding in his emotion to hug Gwen.
Director!Alexandria time (thanks, years of analyzing/directing stuff in theatre). I would have reshot that as such: Jack pops back, and there's a moment of disorientation on his face, like the usual gasplookaround thing, but this time the sound is noticeably closer to a sob (as that was the last thing he was doing--normally, when he's been shot or whatever, gasping is appropriate, but this was a calmish death, physically). There's a moment when his eyes are hopeful, because they're evidently someplace else and that could mean that rescue came in time, but no, then he realizes that those are body bags and he sees Gwen's shoulders shaking over the bag next to him and he closes his eyes for just a second too long and you can tell that there's a part of him that just hurts so much that he'd rather go back to being dead until this was all over with (because as many times as death happens around him, when it's somebody you really love and especially when it's more or less your fault, it never gets easier). He starts crying again before opening his eyes, but he does, and moves over to hold Ianto in his arms again in the same vigil of tragedy that was interrupted by his own death (possibly multiple times as he was reinfected and killed again until they got them out--I'm intrigued by the lack of consistency with the death-resurrection delay). Gwen's on his right (closer to Ianto's lower body) and puts her arm around Jack and there's a few seconds of that, the two crying together over Ianto, but then, face still wet with tears, Gwen strokes Ianto's face with her right hand before looking to Jack and whispering "The end is where we start from." Jack pulls his eyes from his lover's face reluctantly and with effort to meet Gwen's, and we see a steely fury in her eyes under the sorrow. We pan back from the faces, and her right hand has moved to her stomach, and Jack's left still under Ianto's head, cradling him against his body, his own right moves to cover Gwen's over her child, symbolizing the future and the fighting and how he knows he needs to go on, blah blah, and then it pulls out to the whole room full of body bags to show that it's still going to be a bitch of a ride.
This way, it gives Gwen a chance to be the strong one, commensurate with her status as now almost tied for first chair in Torchwood, as it's been seeming. Gwen's one line is to make it even more explicitly a nice mirror to the end of series two, when Jack's like "Now, we carry on" and Gwen's all teary and "I don't think I can, not after this," but Jack says "You can. We all can. The end is where we start from."
I really wish they had done it my way, now that I'm hashing it all out. The symmetry, look at the symmetry!
Of course, Gwen's despondent "There's nothing we can do" in the real one leads well into the tone of the 5th part, going by her end of days (LOL) video from the teaser where she mentions how she understands that sometimes, looking at Earth, the Doctor's got to turn his head away in shame. So to keep with that and not have the whole leading-in-to-fight-in-Ianto's-name tone at the end, just do the same little pullback to all the bodies but keep it Gwen hugging the more-despondent Jack.
Sincerely,
Alexandria
Now I am for serious going to bed. As my alarm goes off in two hours. Fuck me. Maybe I'll make it three hours and just shower really fast, though that's all but impossible since I reallyquick henna'd just the top of my head since it'd been forever--actually more than 6 months, I think--since last time and though it blended and tapered really well from the lighter several inches of roots to the dark red length and looked pretty darn natural, I figured why not because I had tons of energy after getting back from the gym at, you know, 12:40. Dyed hair, watched a West Wing with Kaci, and then watched Torchwood. And then came these last fourteen hundred words of reaction and my not being in the mood to sleep even though I'm so tired my fingers are failing at wordtyping.
Blech. Plus, this orchestra thing means get there at 10 (leave at 9), be there until 5. Seriously? Seriously? I'm going to have to steal a laptop (as mine still has the screen issues) from one of the familia, because there's no way on earth that I can be there that long and still be sane at the end of it, much less awake if I've got nothing to do.
