commotiocordis | (no subject)

So. For a long time, the word in my house has been that when I clean up my room, I'd get moved to another bedroom in the house. And now they're (they being mis padres) actually doing it. Which I don't like. I've got enough stress and responsibility in my life right now that I'm actually actively rebelling against the responsibility and such. Dunno why, there's probably some Freudian reason/defense mechanism thing that I could come up with, but for once, I don't really feel like analyzing the why behind the why behind the what. But said rebelling is badbadbad. As I'm not doing my work, mainly. Adding more change to the mix is only making it worse. I can't handle change, especially over something as -- for lack of a better word -- sacred as my bedroom. I cleaned the bloody thing and I couldn't sleep well for 3 days. I was waking up and flipping over and not being able to get back to sleep and I barely got one continuous hour each night. I'm still not sleeping well since because I haven't yet gotten used to the difference in it being clean--something that seemingly inconsequential in the room where I sleep is enough to completely set me off track. I don't have a problem usually (I never sleep as well, but not this poorly) sleeping in other places on vacation or whatever because I know that it's temporary, it's that I know that I'm being shunted over into this room for good that's freaking me out.

It makes no sense, really. I just really like the room I'm in, but my mum decided that my little sister gets it now. Which also makes no sense to me, because my mom's all "you've had that room forever and you kept it all messy and so now you get the titchy room". But, err, I've never had a room to myself. Never. Never has the mess in the room been all or even mostly mine. Even though my sister doesn't sleep in the room that I'm in now (the bigger one), she keeps her stuff there and as such messes it up even more than I do because she doesn't have to be in there for long periods of time for sleeping and such. My brother has the freaking master bedroom (his is the biggest, the one I've got now is the next, the one I'm moving to is the smallest) and has had it to himself for years and it's twice as messy as mine ever was and it's all his mess. Does he have to move to a smaller room? No. So I really don't understand why they're doing this to me.

So yes. The room is tiny (there's a minuscule little futon in there right now, and when it's opened and in one corner, you've got maybe a meter on one side and a meter and a half on the other clearance between it and the opposite walls), it's this annoying shade of yellow (seriously. Yellow. It's all cutesy or whatever for a baby's room, which is what it was originally painted for: to be the playroom of sorts when I was born, but it's annoying and goes with none of my furniture), and did I mention TINY? It's maybe half the size of my old room. We're talking you probably get bigger accommodations in Rikers Island.

And the sad thing is that they're practically bribing me to get me in there. I dunno, it's not so much bribing as it's they want me to like the new room even though they're forcing me into it. I mean, I was told in no uncertain terms that there's no getting out of it, but they go shopping and buy these really cool black lacyish curtains to replace the closet doors (because they don't really open well) and cover the one window with, and I'm like "Yeah, they're gorgeous, but I still don't want the fucking room." And it's always been "Hey, clean your room and we'll move you into this one and you'll get your own computer." Which is lovely, obviously, but I don't know how a computer could even fit in there. Plus, I highly doubt that they'd let me have the internet on it, and with a computer in my room, if I had to type an english paper, per se, they'd be all "do it on your computer" and I wouldn't be able to get on the internet nearly as much. And that's really mostly what I do on the computer besides schoolwork, which mostly requires the internet anyway.

Whatever. To summarize, I can't handle change so the room moving is freaking me out even though I should be old enough to handle this kind of thing. The entire situation right now is affecting me badly, and I think I really realized how much I've been stressing out about things in that I was in bed at about 3 in the morning but couldn't get to sleep. All night. And this isn't the first time that this has been happening recently. I finally got up at like 5:30 to take a shower and such, because I was coughing (and thus, every time, waking myself up just as I was about to fall asleep) from the dumb cold that I thought I was over but still continues to affect me when I lie down and just generally not able to fall asleep. And I'm being all pissy and overreacting because I'm PMSing like a bitch right now. I think this is the only time that I've ever been pleased, though, that I feel like my uterus is trying to stab its way through my abdominal wall, because this means that I'll be able to start taking the birth control crap soon, which should make next month not suck nearly as badly. It also means, however, that today is pretty much the last time I can eat for the rest of my life because of the dumb weight gain that comes with it. Sadness.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I was on Diane-35, which, I found out later, is apparently more used for skin troubles than as a contraception method, which is odd because I've always had moly clear skin. It doesn't cause a substantial weight gain, but it's really shady, in that you can't smoke because you're more exposed to clots, or drink more than two alcohol units because your liver is shot, or eat grapefruit because your mouth becomes hypersensitive to whatever weird substance in grapefruit causes whatever medication you're taking to react strangely. I really wouldn't recommend trying that one out; it's Hell and you can't take it for more than 12 months because it's supposedly dangerous. I actually heard Alesse wasn't so bad (maybe 5 lbs); there must be a reason why it's something like the #1 birth control pill in America. I haven't tried it out though; I've stopped taking birth control a while ago because quite honestly I don't see the point, being that I don't have an angry period and I don't sleep with men.

which, I found out later, is apparently more used for skin troubles than as a contraception method

That seems dumb. Especially if it's so dangerous and such--the chance for thrombosis seems much higher than with other birth control, if I'm remembering the other numbers correctly.

I've stopped taking birth control a while ago because quite honestly I don't see the point, being that I don't have an angry period and I don't sleep with men.

Understandable. I doubt I'd keep taking it either. I'm going to stick with this, though I'm noticing some side effects (nausea being the main one, but headaches and occasional hot flashes also, which are disturbing and slightly disruptive, though all but the first either aren't very severe or are short-lasting) for a while, I think, though it seems that it's the wrong kind (being the tri-leveled stuff rather than the mono-leveled, the mono seeming to be what would even my hormones out more than jumping doses would). But I've marked down the ones you've mentioned because though I've never actually heard of either of them, I'll definitely avoid the former.

...I was on/am about to restart Diane-35. I didn't know it was specifically for skin troubles or contraception. I kinda don't need it for either. Stupid doctor. I am so getting it changed.

It is, apparently. Read the packaging inside. That's what I did. *geek*

It's okay, everyone! False alarm! I decided to actually read the name on the box (*facepalm*) and it's Juliet-35, not Diane. So I'm not going to die from thrombosis! Yay!

Ooh. Just from what I read about that one when I looked it up, it looks nasty. You should. . . um. . . not take it, if that's agreeable to you. Because I don't want you to die from thrombosis.

Well, I was able to start it again yesterday, so I did. I'm going to keep taking it until I can get a prescription for a different kind. But don't worry, I won't succumb to thrombosis. :)

That's good, at least. That drug scares me a bit. I doubt it'd get through the FDA in America. So, um, run a lot. And don't sit still or anything. Because I can't fly over there and save you from DVT turned pulmonary embolism fast enough.

It's okay, seeing as I'm not actually on that brand. But just in case I all of a sudden ~~pretend to~~ have an embolism, you have to be ready to fly over here and perform the appropriate life-saving procedures. Of course, by appropriate I mean completely inappropriate and requiring less clothing than life-saving. But still. Just warning you.

Warning duly noted and responsibility accepted! Because, umm, shirtless mouth to mouth is the commonly used treatment for embolism. Epinephrine raises heart rate, blood pressure rises, clot is broken up naturally. (Well, it could happen.) Perfectly sound medical procedure. And then, as clots tend to hurt if they're blocking off blood supply to muscles. . . endorphins!

I think shirtless mouth to mouth should be a treatment for pretty much everything that doesn't involved fungus or herpes. It obviously works wonders for embolism. And yay, endorphins! I know how to get them flowing, yes.