*wince* Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. Beautifully done. And as others have commented -- the idea of Mary having Holmes's baby? Especially if, as per fanon, she dies in childbirth, and it's his baby who kills her? Oh teh angst.

Very good Holmes voice you have there, as well. I don't even dare write 3rd person SH, let alone 1st person, let alone 2nd person. *applauds*