I'm benching for the moment the issue that I will probably at some time need to broach in more detail regarding how I've royally fucked my life by somehow cutting my average microbiology test score in half on the last exam, turning my grade from just-a-few-more-points-till-an-A to if-I-drop-a-few-more-points-I'll-have-a-
D which in turn will have the drastic effect of there being a very good chance I won't be back in the fall as I'll lose my scholarship.
So I wrote this paper for abnormal psych that's basically a mini case report on a fictional character. I did Olivia Benson, and really wish I'd had more time and more pages (I hit 10 already, LOL, when I think most people were closer to 4, though admittedly I had two pages of cleverly doctored [rather brutally with Paint, as I don't have Photoshop installed on my new hard drive yet] images of Olivia's psychological test results) to delve more into her character. As it was, I ended up missing microbiology (yeah, I know; in my defense, this was prior to seeing my last test score) and being late to psych today (yesterday, I suppose) morning finishing it up because I started out trying to do the episode research and double check every fact I remembered about her background because the paper-writing-fiend in me felt like I needed citations (none of which actually got saved into the final paper because I didn't want to break character, of sorts, as the therapist).
Also taking up more time than I expected to spend on the paper was the fact that I sort of changed where in SVU canon I was setting the fake therapy sessions--I put it vaguely after the "PTSD" episode, saying that she'd really realized there was a problem then and that her passive participation in group wasn't going to cut it and approached Huang for a referral for more intense help. In my big page of notes I'd already done way back in February or so (why I thought that this would take an hour, two at the most), I didn't take into account the "PTSD" epsisode much and put more emphasis on her reticence to open up due to perceiving the evaluating psychologist as a threat to her job (which I mentioned, but only shortly and accompanying the notation that she requested the referral on her own behalf).
But all of it. . . idk, I just feel like I could have explained my analysis of her behavior and reactions and such so much better. Not within the format he gave us, really, but if I'd had more leeway to add in notes from fictional individual sessions or something. The biggest part I felt that I got in there but didn't express/explain very well was the whole issue of how though she can objectively acknowledge that she was a victim of a sex crime, she was sort of cavalier about needing help, not taking the group therapy she was doing prior to "PTSD" seriously because she sees so many attacks that are so much more brutal every day and can dissociate and reflect on her symptoms and what she should be feeling but doesn't let herself actually *feel* them because so much of her identity is as a helper, not a victim.
I was very proud, however, of how many references to her unresolved issues with Alex I managed to work in, LOL. Again, I would have put that in there so many more times had I not been short on time (compounded by the forced delay caused by the asshole who decided it would be a fun April Fools' prank to grease the staircases and pull the fire alarm at 3am) and working from a given outline. I think somehow I lost a paragraph somewhere, though, because I was flipping back through it this afternoon and couldn't find the bit I swore I wrote (maybe just imagined and planned to write but never got around to?) where I explained more explicitly the halving of Olivia's social network (meaning Alex and Elliot) caused by Alex's entry into the WPP and her feelings of rejection due to the fact that not only did Alex abandon her but then not even try to reconnect upon her return to be bureau chief. Still, I got decidedly more explicit with my HoYay references as the paper progressed to the point that at the end, I came out and said in the case outcome bit that "a joint session with ADA Cabot made significant inroads into resolving mutual feelings regarding their relationship". Perceivable as platonic, yes, but in a Xena subtext way more than an SVU HoYay way, if that makes sense to anyone but me.
As it's vaguely like a fic, I'll prolly post it just for fun, but the reason I started typing this post up was to lead into the fact that while doing research for it, Google sent me to a really good (really long--I finished the parts 1-5 block a bit ago and that was 70 pages in itself, and I think it goes to 26 or so) SVU fic called "Conflict of Interest"
, in which a reference to the statute of limitations for rape sent me back to Google to find out what said limitations were for the different states. I found this chart (PDF)
and started reading through it only to be caught up short on Arizona. Rape is a class 2 felony (without modifying circumstances, a first offense punishable by 5 years, OMGWTF). Marital rape? Class 6. First offense punishment is one year. Holy shit. Spousal rapists are
required to register as sex offenders, though, which is better than I expected, but still. That's horrid. I wish to move to Arizona just to campaign against this bullshit.
Assume similar indignation for all the other states and their criminally short statutes of limitation/lengths of incarceration/ludicrous determinations that some rapes aren't as bad as others because you know the perp. Shall go back to reading through it now, because though I was really tired right after dinner (meaning when I got back to my room a bit before midnight), the combination of this good fic and the potential for learning, OMGYAY, has popped me pretty darn awake. Plus, Chelsea was snoring.
One last thing. OMG ER FINALE TOMORROW. And I'm really supposed to go to the pre-law fraternity meeting during the first hour of it, but I think not because I'm not missing this. I'm kinda sad because I've been watching it forever and it's the one through which I discovered the miracles of internet fandom, and it's ending, but it is time--I still watched it only really out of the afore-insinuated feelings of loyalty to it; though it always has its moments of really kickassery, it frankly hasn't been that good for a while now, especially when you're comparing it to how good the beginnings were. Still. There might be tears.