commotiocordis: (XG)
So much to do. Doing none of it.

Quiz in molecular cell biology in 9ish hours (yes, it's 5am). Homework for computer class due by midnight tonight, paper for health law class due midnight Sunday (though I actually started that one today, OMG). Molecular cell biology test on Monday. Organic lab writeup due Tuesday, as well as pre-lab and actually, you know, doing the lab on Tuesday. Not to mention I didn't go to volunteer at the hospital at all this week--I only need 10 more hours and I have all of April to get them, and it's not like they actually need me around anyway, but I feel bad because technically I'm supposed to be there twice a week, and I've been trying to make it at least once--so that's 6 hours gone on Tuesday and probably no sleep the night before because I leave so early. Then, molecular cell biology lab book I haven't been keeping (no one has, and the teacher knows it, but I'm fairly sure he's a massive dick) due Wednesday. And at 8:30 on Wednesday, an organic chem test that's cumulative over the material I didn't learn for the last test because that's right around when Dad was going in for surgery, the material I didn't retain from the first exam, and the material from the massive amount of classes I haven't made it to these past few weeks because of this sleep failure I've been having.

Like I said, it's now 5:15 and I'm awake. I'm pretty much one of those people who needs to tip over and lie down on the spot when I feel tired or the tiredness passes. My circadian rhythm is still a 30ish hour cycle if left alone, so if I got a solid 6 or 8 hours of sleep (rare, but it happens), it's about 24 hours from the time I woke up that I'm really tired again.

Also, I'm just starting my period, which makes me ruminative and mopey and depression!exhausted, and much more prone to mope and consider suicide than study. Somehow my organic chem teacher has for two semesters now managed to schedule every one of his tests while I'm on my period just to make my life miserable. I should really find drugs for that, especially because I think I might be able to blame hormone stuff for the weird shift in my acne (it's worse, as well as on my back in crazy amounts for the first time ever) and incessant weight gain (yes, I will never stop harping about that because I'm about 5 pounds from officially being "overweight" again even though I've tried everything short of full-blown <400kcal/day uberlow diet to not even lose weight [though by this point, I want to] but just stop gaining it) but me and birth control did not mix well (morning sickness and weight gain).

So idk. Mope. I swore I was going to finish this health law paper tonight and probably do some of my lab too, but nope. I got mopey, and then I trolled LJ to cease aforementioned mopey, and then I updated my extended info and made a playlist on Facebook, and now I'm considering not going to orgo again today and trying to go to sleep now instead. But I'm afraid that because I didn't go to sleep until noonish yesterday, there's no chance I'd get to sleep before the quiz in molecular cell bio at 2 and I'd just be wasting time by trying--unless I'm going on 36h without sleep, it takes a good long while of lying down quietly for me to get to sleep, which majorly eats in to my productive time when I've got this much work to do. Plus, when I'm trying to sleep before some kind of appointment (like aforementioned quiz), I autonomously wake up every 15 minutes to see if it's time to go yet.

Basically, I fail. It doesn't help that I've been very *wants to write fics* lately even if they're not coming out of my head fully formed enough to do anything with, because that's another distraction and one that doesn't come along that often, so I hate to waste these spats of desire to be fannish.

Graaargh. Must pee, but navigating kitten barriers and trying to stop mama!cat from running out of the bathroom as soon as you open the door and then navigating kittens themselves once in the bathroom is a hassle, so I keep putting it off until I have to dance over aforementioned kitten barriers holding my crotch like a 3 year old. Excuse to quit whinging, I think so.

*chooses icon that looks most like what I wish to be doing atm*
commotiocordis: Green on black, an animated depiction of a normal heart rhythm on an ECG monitor. (Default)
You know what bothers me? The fact that I've never really been good at anything.

Ironic!LOL, Alexandria's melancholy when she's 28 hours from failing an organic chemistry test she can't get her stupid ass to study for and has slept weirdly (and by weird, I mean in 2 hour bursts with a very low total hour count) all week. It's 5am, which is probably the reason, though I've never found myself unable to allow the slightest stimuli to throw me into ". . . I fail" mode no matter what time of the day it is.

Wherein I mope and act all juvenile and emo while espousing how I fail. )
commotiocordis: Green on black, an animated depiction of a normal heart rhythm on an ECG monitor. (BoP)
You know what bothers me? The fact that I've never really been good at anything.

Ironic!LOL, Alexandria's melancholy when she's 28 hours from failing an organic chemistry test she can't get her stupid ass to study for and has slept weirdly (and by weird, I mean in 2 hour bursts with a very low total hour count) all week. It's 5am, which is probably the reason, though I've never found myself unable to allow the slightest stimuli to throw me into ". . . I fail" mode no matter what time of the day it is.

Wherein I mope and act all juvenile and emo while espousing how I fail. )

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